


central park

by thestarsaregivenonceonly



Category: Timmy Chalamet, Timothée Chalamet - Fandom, chalamet, tim chalamet, timothee, timothee hal chalamet
Genre: Blurb, CUTE AS SHIT, Central Park, Drabble, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Meeting, Fluff, Fluffy, One Shot, Slow Burn, Smut, central park series, imagine, timothee blurb, timothee chalamet blurb, timothee chalamet drabble, timothee chalamet fan fiction, timothee chalamet fanfic, timothee chalamet fanfiction, timothee chalamet imagine, timothee chalamet one shot, timothee chalamet smut, timothee drabble, timothee fan fiction, timothee fanfic, timothee fanfiction, timothee imagine, timothee one shot, timothee smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsaregivenonceonly/pseuds/thestarsaregivenonceonly
Summary: A new fic I'm starting in which Timothée happens upon a girl on a bench one day.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Reader, timothee chalamet x reader, timothee x reader, timothee/reader
Comments: 24
Kudos: 109





	1. Poe

**Author's Note:**

> send me requests on tumblr same username xx

The first time I saw her was in Central Park, engrossed in a book with her nose stuck in the pages. I wonder wildly if she’s trying to smell them, for they were yellowed with use and love. Her hair blows back off of her face, her stance totally frozen, whatever she was reading must be fantastic. Curiosity strikes my limbs, not only to know what book she was reading but to… know her. She looks so strangely out of place amongst those around her, an angel sitting plainly on a park bench. I swallow hard and close my eyes, willing myself the courage to talk to her. 

Would she be frightened? Weirded out? I decide to take the chance. 

Approaching slowly, I try to flatten my hair, adjusting the chain around my neck and praying that she would talk to me. Her eyes flit back and forth across the page, her ignorance of my presence making me more nervous. I continue to close the distance until I’m standing dumbly in front of her, a stutter on my lips. 

Her eyes dart up from the pages and widen considerably for reasons unbeknownst to me. She lowers her book and adjusts her hair, smiling widely and talking with a shaky voice. 

“Hello, can I help you?” 

“I was j-just, dammit sorry- I was just wondering what you were reading?” I clear my throat, my face pink. 

She looks down at her book as if she has forgotten what it is, her hair shining brightly in the sun. I admire her as she flips the book over to show me the cover. 

“Poe?” 

“I love Poe.” 

“Mind if I sit?” 

She nods eagerly, her cheeks rosy and beautiful. I force myself to maintain eye contact and not look at her mouth, that gorgeous mouth. This stranger was a temptress and she had no idea.

“Why do you love Poe?” 

She tilts her head to the side, squinting her eyes in thought. “Well… as weird as it sounds, I love the emotions he provokes. You can tell by what he writes that there’s pain behind his words, and it makes me want to understand him, know him.” She holds up the book, one of the corners folded over. “This is the only way I can. He just fascinates me.” 

My mouth parts about halfway through her little speech, my eyes unable to look away from her lips as she spoke. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice. She was still talking. 

“Do you know the number of women he lost in his life? And how devastating that must have been? I mean, he did marry his fourteen-year-old cousin, which is just-“ she made a face. “Yikes.” 

I laugh quietly, nodding in agreement. “Big yikes.” 

She suddenly blushes deeper, covering her mouth. “I’m sorry I think I rambled a bit.”   
“I like listening to you talk. I like the way you say things.” 

Looking down, she pushes her hair behind her ear and giggles quietly, the grin on my face growing by the second. 

I’m in trouble. 

“Are you reading anything right now?” She wants to know. 

I shake my head. “Busy all the time.” 

She looks so curious, and it’s then that I realize that she doesn’t recognize me. Or, if she does, she’s playing it very cool. 

“Busy doing what?” 

I purse my lips, trying to read her mind. She watches me expectantly, the wind blowing her hair in her face. 

“My art.” 

“What kind of art?” 

I sigh quietly, knowing there’s no way around it. “I’m an actor.” 

She gasps quietly, covering her mouth. I freeze, hoping and praying she won’t make a scene. “I know you! You’re in that movie about um…” she stops and thinks, biting her thumbnail. I want to kiss her, and it’s overwhelming and terrifying. “Elio! Right?” 

I nod, smiling warmly. “That’s me, madam.” 

“Timothée, right?” 

She’s so cute it hurts. “Yes.” 

She extends her hand and tells me her name, and I prepare myself for the first time that I’m going to touch her skin. Lifting my own, I take hers and shake it slowly, inhaling deeply through my nose. Her skin is so soft, so warm, so… electric. She pulls back as if nothing happened, her eyes darting around my face. 

“Lovely to meet you, I’m honored.” 

“Likewise,” I smile, adjusting my position on the bench. “I’m glad I came over to say hello.”   
She raises an eyebrow, wrinkling her nose. “What made you do that anyway?” 

Oh, fuck. “Um…” Tell the truth? Lie? Somewhere in between? 

Fuck it. 

“Well, you’re very beautiful, and you looked so involved in your book that I just had to know what it was. And what your name was.” 

She stares at me, mouth agape before shutting it tightly and covering it again. Clearly speechless, she looks down at her book again, the flush in her face spreading to her neck. I feel bad suddenly, hoping I didn’t embarrass her. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no,” she shakes her head, pushing her hair behind her ear. I want to do it for her, would she let me? “It’s okay, I was just… caught off guard. But thank you.” Another giggle. “You’re beautiful too.” 

I beam, now I’m blushed to the neck, and we both laugh, the book falling between us onto the bench. I pick it up and hand it to her, and her finger brushes my thumb, the both of us knowing it was deliberate. 

“Shall I read Call Me Be Your Name, then?” She asks, clearing her throat and holding her book tightly to her chest. 

“I think you should. It’s brilliant and beautiful.” 

“You’re just self-promoting,” she teases, nudging my shoulder. My heart begins to race because I can tell she likes touching me almost as much as I like touching her. It scares me, but I’m excited, a new butterfly hatching in my stomach after years of absolute emptiness. 

“No, really,” I say seriously, nudging her back. “Read it, for me?” 

“Why should I do anything for you?” She raises her eyebrows, unabashedly flirting with me. 

“Because I’m beautiful.” 

Her head falls back with laughter, exposing her neck, and it’s all over with. I have to cross my legs casually, laughing with her. 

I’m absolutely screwed. 

“I suppose I will, then,” she says, turning all the way to face me. I lean closer unconsciously, I can’t wipe the smile from my fucking face. 

“Good girl,” I tease.   
“What do I get out of it?” 

I’m confused. “An amazing story?” Is she looking for another answer? 

She purses her lips, fuck, don’t do that. “If I finish it will you take me to dinner?” 

Jesus, this girl has balls. I can’t stop the beaming expression that takes over my face, and I laugh quietly, placing my hand casually on her thigh. 

“I’d take you to dinner either way.”


	2. dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me requests on tumblr same username xx

I adjust my tie and gulp quietly, tryinig desperately to tame the curls upon my head. She’s going to look absolutely stunning, and I’m going to look like a trainwreck, I know it. I sigh with frustration and leave my hair to do what it will, sliding my shoes on and tying them quickly. My shirt is purple and crisp, a striped tie, i want to look nice but not overdressed. My phone beeps, and I know it’s her. We’ve been texting for days. 

I’ll see you soon :) 

I reply with a winking face and slip my wallet into my back pocket, taking one last look in the mirror before exiting the apartment. Making my way through the building with my head down, I check my phone to ensure my driver and body guard will be waiting for me. 

They are. 

I get into the car with shaking limbs, ignoring the single person behind me who is taking a blatant photo of my ass as I get in. The entire would would wonder where I was going so dressed up, and she would have to deal with it in some way. I wonder if she realizes that as the car pulls out into traffic and I lean my head on the window, watching my city go by. The restaurant is only a few blocks away, and if I wasn’t positive that I’d be spotted I would have walked. The car pulls up and I can see her standing outside, hugging a sweater around her shoulders and looking around for me. She’s wearing a green sundress and black flats, the sweater around her matching her shoes. She looks fucking stunning.   
I get out of the car and signal for her to enter the building, which she does without question. Inside, we smile at one another, and she looks down again, giggling that giggle I adore. She clearly isn’t too confident in herself, because she spends a lot of time with her eyes on the ground.

“How are you?” I inquire as we’re taken to our seats. 

“Nervous,” she admits, sitting across from me and taking her sweater off. 

“Me too,” I confess, adjusting my tie and clearing my throat. “You’re gorgeous.” 

She smiles, looking down yet again, biting her lip. I want to bite that lip. “Thank you. You look very handsome. Regal in purple.” 

“Thank you,” is all I can manage before the waiter arrives to take our drink orders. I ask for a beer and she orders a fancy cocktail, something fruity and sweet like she is. 

I lean my arms on the table and watch as she sips it when it arrives, her lips wrapped around the straw giving me dirty thoughts. 

“Good?” 

“Delicious.” She pushes it to me. “Want to try it?” 

“You sure I don’t have cooties?” 

“Maybe I want your cooties.” 

I blink a few times, impressed. Pulling the drink across the table, I sip from the straw, far too aware that our mouths touched the same thing. She suddenly felt too far away. 

“It is really good,” I agree, slowly pushing it back across the table to her. 

I can’t believe this girl, the way she speaks with her hands, her hair consistently falling into her face like mine, the way she bats her eyelashes when she’s thinking. I’m so into her that it feels almost pathetic, but she seems pretty into me too. She leans forward on her elbows while I speak, her eyes moving from my mouth to meet my gaze every now and then. I can tell she has a hint of red lipstick on, and I want it on my collar. 

The food is delicious and unique, a hidden place that many didn’t know about. She makes noises of pleasure and satisfaction while she eats, and it makes me wonder what she sounds like in bed. I do my best not to make a mess, eating slowly and holding my tie aside when I take each bite. She finishes first, leaning back in her seat and putting a hand over her tummy. 

“That was so good,” she breathes. I want to breathe her air. 

Why am I so into this girl?

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” I smile, finishing up and sipping from my beer. Her eyes follow my movements, and I want to know what she’s thinking, I feel desperate as Edward fucking Cullen.

“On me?” She points at herself.   
I’m astonished. “Absolutely not.” I tug my wallet out and leave a generous tip, standing before she can speak again. She rolls her eyes, a strangely endearing sight, as we depart from the restaurant.   
Near the door she folds her arms, suddenly closed off and nervous again. “What now?” 

I’m breathless, not wanting to leave her side. “My place is a few blocks away…” 

She raises her eyebrows, smirking, and I can tell she thinks I’m crude. “Is it now?” 

“I”m sorry,” I stutter, touching my neck and jawline with anxiety. “I didn’t mean it that way.”   
“It’s fine,” she laughs, looking out the window. “Is your car out there?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then let’s go,” she says willingly, winding her arm through mine as we turn to exit the building. I stop her halfway to the door and gently detach myself, putting my hand on her cheek gently. The touch is embers beneath the coals of my heart, and I want to touch her everywhere. 

“I don’t want anyone to see you with me quite yet. Not because I’m embarrassed of you, but because I don’t want the media all over you.” 

She nods, understanding immediately. “Shall I get in first, you wait and climb in after me?” 

“Good idea,” I nod as well. “No one will pay attention to you.” 

“Ouch.” 

Why did everything I say come out so fucking wrong? “No, I didn’t mean-“

“I’m just messing with you, Tim,” she giggles, nuzzling her nose against my shoulder. The gesture of affection melts my heart, and I want to hug her close. I kiss her forehead, feeling confident myself, and watch as she exits the restaurant, doing my best to not look at her ass and failing miserably. 

I wait a few minutes, the longest minutes of my life, before ducking my head and quickly walking outside. Few passersby move next to me, but no one seems to pay me any attention. Sliding into the car, I’m breathless to see her there waiting for me, her green dress popping against the black leather. 

“Hi again,” she says sweetly, reaching for me. I move closer and pull the door shut, buckling my seatbelt as the car began to move.   
“Hiya.”

“So what are we gonna do at your place?” She’s inquisitive and alluring. 

“I just thought I’d show it to you.” 

“You, Timothée Chalamet, Academy Award nominated actor, want to show little old me your apartment?” She puts her hand on her chest, genuinely surprised. “I’m honored.” 

The urge to kiss her was so strong that I had to turn to look up the street, searching for my building. “It’s no big deal.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it one.” 

I turn back to her, shaking my head. “I know, love.” 

“What?” 

My face turns beet red, I have no idea why I called her that. It was a protective word, a pet name because she was so darn sweet, sweet as the finest candy. 

“I said, I know, love.” 

She giggles and leans into my body, oh, please don’t push me over the edge. I cautiously wind an arm around her waist as we pull up to the curb, squeezing her gently. 

“We’re here.”  
“Shall we go in separately again?” 

“Yes, I think it’s a good idea.”   
She nods and exits the car, blowing me a kiss before she goes. I reach out and catch it, winking at her and putting it in my pocket. She laughs, an adorable sound, and shuts the door, hurrying inside. I want a few moments before following suit, finding her standing next to the elevators. 

“I didn’t know where to go,” she says sheepishly, God, I want to protect her from everything. 

“I didn’t tell you,” I murmur, pressing the button and grinning down at her. “Eighth floor, 802.” 

“Now I know,” she smiles, winding her arm through mine. 

This time, I let her.


	3. the apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dinner at Timmy's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me requests on tumblr same username xx

She traces her fingers lightly along the back of my couch, looking around and moving slowly through the apartment, her flats silent on the carpeted floors. I watch her carefully, wondering how it would feel to have those fingers trail down my chest. Shivering and shaking the thought away, too soon, I clear my throat.   
“Want another drink?” 

She turns to face me, smiling. “What do you have?” 

“Beer, wine, whiskey.” 

“Whatever you’re having.” 

I nod and move into the kitchen, wanting to steady my nerves. Loosening my tie, I open the refrigerator and pull the whiskey out, pouring two shots and gesturing for her to join me. She takes her sweater off, exposing her shoulders, and I feel a guilty twitch between my legs. Moving across the apartment, she takes the glass and downs it without difficulty, and, yet again, I’m thoroughly impressed. After a moment, however, she makes a funny face, and I laugh, taking the shot myself. 

“Too strong?” 

“The after taste is what gets me,” she admits, pushing her hair behind her ears. I glance at her collarbone, smooth and defined, and swallow hard. 

“Same.” 

“One more?” 

“Sure,” I nod, pouring two more shots. We down them together and move to sit on the couch, facing each other, my hand casually on her thigh. I feel slightly tipsy, and it’s warm and wonderful. Hoping she’s comfortable, I ask her to tell me more about herself. 

Speaking to me about her life, I’m absolutely mesmorized by her words. She gestures with her hands, glowing as she talks to me about her family and friends. I drink in every word like water in the desert, thirsty to know her to the bone marrow. Her likes and dislikes, her pet peeves, some of her fears, she seems so willing and open. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says suddenly, putting her hands on her cheeks and turning red. I’m so desperate to kiss her that I almost cuss out loud. “I’ve been talking about myself this entire time.” 

“I would have stopped you if I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Really?” She looks down at her hands, biting her bottom lip and grinning. 

I’m losing my God damn mind. 

“Yeah. Tell me more.” 

“No, it’s your turn.” 

So I talk. I tell her about my childhood, my good and bad times with my sister, how my parents raised me, the thrills of New York City. I tell her about school, learning to act, the teachers I worked with and how they shaped me as a person. She leans closer as I speak, placing an elbow on the back of the couch and resting her head on her hand, her eyes boring into mine. I’m nervous as hell, and I stutter almost the whole way through. By the time I talk about Heath Ledger as my inspiration, I feel like the one who talked too much. 

“That’s amazing,” she comments, nodding in agreement. “He was brilliant. Such a tragedy.” 

“I know. I would have loved to work with him.” 

She wrinkles her nose. “What movie of yours are you most proud of?” 

“Well, a few. Call Me By Your Name. Little Women. Lady Bird.” 

“I’ll have to watch them all.” 

I blush, the idea of her watching me on screen with other women making my stomach clench. I’m not exactly sure why until I realize I’ve dated a few co-stars. “You don’t have to.” 

“I want to,” she insists, putting her hand on my thigh. I inhale deeply, gulping silently and willing myself to keep it together. If she notices how hard I’m getting she might get offended or want to leave. I’m not entirely sure what to do, so I adjust my position a bit and drape my arm casually over my crotch. 

“Let me know what you think?” 

“Absolutely.” 

I smile, feeling daring, and lean over to kiss her on the cheek. She flushes down to the neck in the way that I adore, her eyes on her hands again. 

“I really like you,” she whispers quietly, and I can tell that it’s hard for her to admit it; but my heart soars, my confidence growing. 

“I really like you, too.” 

“Are you just saying that?” She asks, looking up at me. 

“No. I really, really like you.” I smile earnestly, squeezing her thigh. Her dress covers her skin, and I long to push it up and touch her. Not necessarily in a sexual way, though I’m dying for that too. Just to know her inside and out, to know her body and soul. 

She beams, pushing her hair behind her ear only to have it fall back out of place. Before she’s able to do so again, I quickly reach up and push it back for her, my fingers brushing her cheek. Her mouth parts, and she emits a soft sigh. I nearly groan out loud, but I place my hand back on her thigh, squeezing it again. 

“Thank you,” she says sheepishly. “My hair has a mind of it’s own.” 

I shake my curls, and she giggles. “I feel you.” 

“I love your hair,” she says.

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm.” A small nod. “It looks so soft and fluffy.” 

I smile a cheesy smile, I can feel myself falling, and it scares me. It’s happening so quickly, so easily. I want to take it slow, take our time, appreciate every little first. But I want to rush, I want her in every way, I want to make her mine. She suddenly reaches out and tentatively puts her hand on my cheek before lifting it and running her fingers slowly through my hair, pushing it from my forehead. I can’t help it, a soft moan escaping my lips. Beaming, her hand slides down my ear before returning to my thigh. I never want her to leave. 

“As I expected,” she declares. 

“What?” 

“Soft and fluffy.”   
I laugh, my head falling back, and she giggles quietly. Her cheeks are still flushed, and I wonder if it’s me or the alcohol that’s behind it. Using her movement as an excuse, I reach up and gently run my fingers through her hair, twirling it around my forefinger as I let go. She sighs softly, closing her eyes and leaning her head into my hand. 

Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. 

I’m so scared of scaring her off, but she seems so into me that I can’t help it anymore. Leaning over, I place a delicate peck to her lips, pulling back a bit to gauge her reaction. Her eyes pop open instantly, and her mouth falls open a bit before quickly shutting again. I wait, she hesitates, and it’s torturous to not know what she’s thinking. But after another few seconds I find out. 

Putting her hand on my cheek, she leans in and kisses me again, pressing her mouth fully against my own. I can feel myself holding my breath, her lips are so soft and warm, a bit chapped in an endearing way. I kiss her tenderly, her hand cupping my jaw, our mouths moving together perfectly. Rubbing my thumb along her thigh, I feel myself drowning in her, losing all sense of who I was without her. 

After a moment she pulls back, her eyes glowing. “That was nice.” 

“Nice?” 

She beams, chuckling. “That was amazing.” 

“I thought so, too.” 

She raises her eyebrows and leans a bit closer. For a second I think she’s going to kiss me again, but instead she speaks quietly. 

“Does this mean you’re going to ask me out this time?” 

“I think it does.” 

She looks at me expectantly, she’s so fucking charming. 

“Will you go on another date with me?” 

Beaming, she nods eagerly, kissing my cheek. “Absolutely. When?”

“As soon as possible,” I admit, not particularly caring about the color of my face anymore. I assume it to be the color of a beet. 

“I have work every day this week but nothing at night,” she says avidly, wiggling a bit closer. I take the hint and wrap my arm around her shoulders, praying my deodorant is still working. 

“I have to study my script, how about tomorrow?” 

She laughs hard, sitting up to look at me. I grin back, raising my eyebrows. 

“I thought you were going to say in a week or something.” 

I shake my head back and forth. “I want to see you again.” 

“What if you get bored of me?” She doesn’t look so sure all of a sudden. 

Very unlikely. 

“I doubt it.” I say firmly, gently taking her hand. She squeezes mine, a squeeze to my heart at the same time. 

“Okay. I’d love to.” 

“Where would you like to go?” 

She purses her lips, they’re so gorgeous that I lean forward and peck her on the mouth again. She squeaks in surprise and chuckles, nudging my shoulder. 

“Stop scaring me like that.” 

“Not apologizing.” 

“Can I just come here?” She wants to know, looking around. “No one will see us, and I like it here.” 

“If you want, sure.” I have to clean this apartment top to bottom. Fuck the script. 

She picks up her phone, and my heart clenches, I don’t want her to go. She’ll be back tomorrow, but it feels so far away. 

“I should go, I have work early.” She kisses my cheek gently before standing and grabbing her sweater. Her legs are wobbly, and I automatically reach out to grab her hips. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m just tired,” she says quickly, and, yet again, I want to read her mind desperately. 

“Do you want me to call you a cab?” 

“I got it,” she smiles, wrinkling her nose and sliding her sweater over her shoulders. She truly looks gorgeous.   
I escort her to the door, my heart pounding hard. She turns to face me at the last minute and stands on her tiptoes, pecking me lightly on the lips. 

She’s not getting away that easily. 

I weave my fingers into her hair and pull her back to kiss her again, wanting to taste her. She puts her hands on my hips and takes a step closer, releasing a soft sound when my tongue traces her bottom lip. Opening her mouth, she kisses me deeply, and I feel like I’m going to fall down on my ass. My stomach is swirling, knees buckling, I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I want to stand there and kiss her all night, but I know she has to go. 

She pulls back and exhales heavily, beaming and looking down. I gently lift her chin to look in her eyes, smiling reassuringly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yes.” 

“Goodnight.” I open the door, and she slowly exits my apartment. She looks back twice on her way to the elevator, and I lean against the doorframe as I watch her go. Pressing the button, she stands and waits, and the urge to ask her to stay is so strong that I bite down on my tongue. 

Ding! She’s gone, and I close the door.


	4. the raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy misses you as soon as you leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me requests on tumblr same username xx

I feel empty and lost as I get ready for bed, checking my phone every two minutes to see if she’s texted me. I brush my teeth and look at myself in the mirror for a long time, studying my features and thinking about hers. The shape of her lips, the curve of her eyebrows, her cheekbones. Her hips, her legs, I can feel myself getting hard again. I close my eyes tightly, willing it away, feeling guilty about thinking about her so sexually when I barely know her. But I can’t help it, she’s fucking gorgeous, enchanting, and I really, really like her. I try my best to remind myself that it’s natural and alright to feel this way, and my phone beeps. 

Rushing from the room, I nearly trip over my own feet to grab it. It’s her. I smile broadly, feeling like a weirdo. 

I’m home. :) 

Thank you for letting me know. x

I had a lot of fun, Timothée. 

Me too. I can’t wait to see you again.   
Right back atcha. I’m going to head to bed now. Sweet dreams, handsome. x

Sweet dreams, dear one. 

xx

Xx

I set my phone down, getting comfortable in bed and groaning with frustration. The tent in my boxers will not go down no matter what I think about, and I’m starting to accept that perhaps I should just take care of it. I close my eyes and try once more to will it away, covering my face with my arm and exhaling harshly. 

A few minutes go by, and all I can think about is her, her, her. 

Fuck it. 

Reaching down, I slowly pull my erection free from my boxers, whimpering quietly at the touch. Letting my head fall back, I close my eyes and begin to stroke myself slowly, raising my other hand to touch my neck. Images of her flash through my mind, the sounds she made when I kissed her, and I can’t help but imagine what she would sound like with me inside of her. It’s so easy and quick, I’m so in need that when I come it’s intense and abundant, my back arching as I moan softly, picturing her lips, her legs, the skin of her arms and thighs. 

When it’s over I feel exhausted, and I clean myself up, feeling the need to hop into the shower. I stand there for a long time, smiling to myself and letting the water hit my face. I feel warm and whole, excited and giddy. As I’m drying off, I hear my phone beep. Moving to the bedroom with the towel wrapped around my waist, I find that it’s her again. I’m immediately concerned. 

I can’t sleep.   
Why not?

I don’t know. I feel… lonely. 

My heart aches, I sit down on the bed and swallow hard. 

I’ll be awake for as long as you need to keep you company. 

Thank you :) You’re so sweet

I just want to help.

What are you up to? 

Just got out of the shower. I feel like her eyes are on me all of a sudden, I feel like she knows. Lying in bed. You?

Reading my book. I’m having trouble focusing.   
My heart picks up, because I am too. I wonder if we have the same problem. 

Why’s that? 

I think you know why.   
Tell me. 

I’m thinking about you. 

I beam, taking a screenshot of the conversation without shame. I know I’m going to read it over and over and over again. 

I’m awake for the same reason.   
Really? 

Yes.

I’m a bit scared, you know. Of?

You.

Why?

You just... make me feel a lot. And it feels like it’s happening too fast but somehow I don’t know if I care? 

I can barely breathe, taking another screenshot, my heart is racing in my chest. I can’t believe she’s as into me as I am into her. 

It’s like you’re in my head. 

You feel the same? 

God, yes. I feel like… I know you. I saw you sitting on that bench and I just knew you. 

She doesn’t answer for a long time, and I begin to grow concerned that I’ve frightened her. Assuming perhaps she fell asleep, I continue to wait until suddenly my phone begins to ring, scaring the shit out of me. I almost drop it as I pick it up. It’s her. 

Fuck. 

“Hello?” 

“Tim?”   
“Are you alright, love?” 

“Can I read to you?”   
My insides melt and so do I, right back into the pillow with a gigantic grin on my face. 

“I’d love that.” 

“Do you have a favorite Poe story?” 

“The Raven.” 

I can hear her flipping through pages, the sound of her breathing sending a shudder down my back. 

Control yourself, Chalamet. 

“Alright, ready?” 

I nod before realizing she can’t see me, stuttering out a small ‘yes’. She begins to read slowly and dramatically, and I can picture her face as if I’ve known her for years, her hands moving as she speaks, the words tumbling from her lips with such beauty and grace. I close my eyes and rest my head back on the pillow, letting her take me away into the story. She tells it so well, speaking enthusiastically when necessary, darkly at times, very, very quiet at others. I feel as if she’s meant to read to me, and I love it so much that I know I’m going to ask her to do it again. 

When she finally finishes she is breathless, and it makes me ache for her. 

“Thank you,” I whisper. “I loved that.” 

“Really?” 

“I enjoyed it very much. Please read to me again sometime?” 

I can hear the smile in her voice, and my heart skips a few beats, twirling and dancing in my chest. “I would fucking love that.” 

“Me too.” I long to call her a pet name, I want her to be my girl. “Do you feel tired?” 

“Kinda. But I wanna talk to you.” 

I chuckle. “Same. But you have work, and I want you to be rested.” 

She sighs quietly, another shudder down my back. “Alright. You’re right.” 

“I know,” I say with a smirk.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Timothée.” I fucking love when she says my name. 

“I can’t wait.” 

“Me either.” 

“Goodnight,” I whisper. 

“Goodnight,” she says, making a kissy sound before hanging up. 

I toss my phone aside and smile at the ceiling, chewing on my bottom lip. How the fuck am I supposed to sleep now? I roll onto my side and laugh with joy into the pillow, wondering what she’s doing, how she’s feeling, if she’s as happy as me. 

I relax in bed for another hour or so before drifting off, dreaming strange dreams and tossing and turning. Every time I wake I look at my phone, and it seems as if time is going so slowly. I’m too excited for the next day, and it makes resting impossible. I eventually give up at around seven in the morning and get out of bed, taking another hot shower. I make myself breakfast and sit down with my script for a while, reading through it slowly and carefully, speaking my parts out loud as I eat. I grab a pen and begin to mark it up, writing in the margins carefully, underlining here and there, trying my best to focus on the task and nothing else. 

Eventually growing bored, I begin to clean my apartment, blasting Kid Cudi and jamming as I go. The day is so slow, it drags as I drag my feet through the different rooms to wipe and spray and dust and sweep. All the while she’s on my mind like a melody stuck in my head, and I find myself smiling almost all day long. She texts me at about six in the evening, and by then I’m craving her presence so badly that I feel like an addict. 

Can I come over? 

Yes. Be safe, please.

I will :)


	5. truth or dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second date gets interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> send me requests at tumblr same username xx

I find myself growing nervous, the idea of her traveling through the city alone giving me anxiety. I know she lives here and she’s used to it, but I care about her a lot, and that meant being concerned whether it was rational or not. Time drags, and I pull out some snacks and another full bottle of whiskey, laying them on the counter. Tapping my feet and fingers, I watch the door, thinking hard and losing myself in the memory of kissing her. When she finally knocks, I exhale harshly and run around the counter to pull the door open. 

She’s wearing a comfortable black sweatshirt and jeans, and I’m thankful that she’s feeling casual as well. I myself have only donned a t-shirt and jeans. We smile at each other as she makes her way past me into the apartment, and I inhale as she passes, breathing in her perfume and memorizing the scent. She sets her purse down and makes her way to the counter, helping herself to some chips as I shut the door. 

“What exactly are we doing?” She inquires, gesturing to the large bottle of alcohol. “You know I have work in the morning.”   
I hope she doesn’t think it’s a stupid idea. My face flushes deeply, and I rock back and forth on my feet. “I thought we could play truth or dare. Get to know each other better.”   
She giggles, popping another chip into her mouth and crunching on it. When she’s finished chewing, she clears her throat and nods. “Sounds good.” 

“Really?” I’m a bit surprised. 

“Yeah, why not?” She shrugs. “Where does the alcohol come in?” 

“I’m not sure, I just thought you could drink what you wanted.” 

“Sounds fair.” Another chip, another nod. She’s so adorable. 

I walk over and lean on the countertop, pouring myself a shot. “Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“Wowie, right out the door,” I laugh, pushing a shot glass to her. “I dare you to take a shot.” 

She rolls her eyes, and I raise my eyebrows. “Boring.” 

“Oh, I see.” I fold my arms, suddenly wondering what exactly is off limits. 

She takes the shot easily, making her normal shot face before popping more chips into her mouth. “Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.”

“Hmmm,” she makes a small humming sound, squinting her eyes at me. “Have you ever dated a co-star?” 

My knees buckle, suddenly I wonder if this is a good idea. “Yes.” 

“I see.” She sounds jealous, and the idea pleases me. 

“Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” 

“Tell me about your past relationships.” 

She wrinkles her nose in distaste, and I chuckle quietly, taking another drink. 

“Why do you want to hear about them?” 

“You asked about mine.” 

“Fair.” She sighs, drumming her fingers on the countertop. “I’ve dated two guys seriously. The first cheated on me. The second…” she hesitates. “I thought he was the one. He just wasn’t.” 

My mouth is wide open, my eyes saucers. Someone actually fucking cheated on this woman? Who the fuck would be stupid enough to do that? I couldn’t believe it. 

“You are not serious. You can’t be.” 

“Why is it so hard to believe?” She wants to know, pulling the whiskey over for another shot. 

“Because…” I suddenly have no idea what to say. I swallow hard and look at my shoes. “Because I really, really like you, like, a fucking lot, and, well, I-I just can’t imagine ever doing that to you if you were my girl.” 

She stares at me, the drink halfway to her mouth in her right hand. I force myself to stare back though I want to look down again. 

A smile forms on her face slowly, and she takes the shot. “Thank you, love.” 

Fuck. “You’re welcome.” 

“Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to do the stupidest dance possible to your favorite song.” 

Oh, shit. 

“Fine,” I laugh, scrolling through my phone as she takes another drink. The idea of her staying here suddenly flashes through my mind, but I have to say something. “Don’t drink too much.” 

“I’m fine, thank you,” she says firmly, putting her chin in her hand. “Dance for me.”   
“Yes ma’am,” I say quietly, turning up the volume as my favorite Cudi song begins to play. Her eyes widen immediately, and she stands up straight. 

“Seriously?” 

“What?” I say, flinging my arms and legs wildly about, turning in circles. 

“I fucking love this song,” she squeals, running around the counter to dance with me, singing at the top of her lungs. 

My stomach falls out of my ass, my chest heaving, there is no fucking way this girl is real. I slow my movements and watch her with a giant grin on my face, falling hard and suddenly not caring at all. She spins in circles and waves her arms around, pushing her hair out of her face and breathlessly keeping up with the words. Toward the end of the song she slows her dance moves and steps up in my face, waving her hands around my head and singing loudly directly at me. I can’t breathe, I can’t move, she’s so unbelievable that my mouth falls open once again. The song ends, she steps back, and I’m kissing her, hard and needing, pushing her until her back is against the counter. She makes a noise of surprise but kisses me back eagerly, her hands weaving into my hair. I groan and hold her hips gently, she tastes like whiskey and berry chapstick. After a few seconds she pulls back, her eyes fluttering and her chest heaving. 

“Jesus, I told you not to scare me like that.” 

“I’m not sorry. Again.” 

She laughs and gently hits my arm, pushing me backward to get to the whiskey again. “I like kissing you.” 

“Good. I plan on doing it quite a lot.” 

“Good,” she says in a challenging tone, downing more alcohol. I’m getting concerned, and though it might not be fair, I decide to give her an ultimatum. 

“If you want to keep drinking you have to stay here,” I say firmly, folding my arms. “I’m not letting you go home alone drunk.” 

She sways slightly, clearly tipsy. “I’ll be fine.” 

“No.” I’m not going to budge. 

“Fine. Do you mind if I stay?” She looks extremely nervous and unsure of herself, but my heart nearly leaps out of my chest with excitement. 

“Of course.” I smile and back to the door to lock it, winking at her. She inhales harshly and drinks more, keeping eye contact with me. I’m dying to know where this is going to go, and I think she is too. 

“Truth or dare?” I ask. 

“Truth,” she says willingly, opening a bag of Cheetos. 

“How much do you like me?” 

She stops again with a Cheeto halfway to her mouth. “What?” 

“How much do you like me?” I gently repeat. I’m dying to know what she says. 

Looking down sheepishly, her face flushes, it’s fucking stunning. “A whole lot.” 

Beaming, I stand against the counter and lean across it. “Yeah?” 

She sets the Cheeto down and leans across the countertop too until we’re almost touching noses. 

“Yes, sir.” 

A harsh twitch between my legs, I’m glad that she can’t see my waist. “I was just curious.” 

“Truth or dare?” Her breath is feathery against my lips. 

“Truth.” 

“How much do you like me?” Predictable. I smile. 

“Too much.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

I tilt my head to the side and decide to be blunt with her. “I like you so much that it scares the shit out of me.” Not far from what she had said last night. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

She leans forward and pecks my lips, smiling big. “Good.” 

I laugh, shaking my head and drinking more. I’m almost drunk, my entire body warm from the whiskey. I want to move around the counter to be closer to her, but there’s a considerable tent in my jeans that I’m not sure I want her to see. 

She suddenly tugs the sweatshirt over her head, wearing a plain purple shirt underneath. Her bare arms are now exposed, and I have to close my eyes and compose myself. 

“Truth or dare?” My voice shakes a bit, but she doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Truth.” 

I want to use it for good, to ask her something daring. I think for a moment, my eyes bouncing around her face as she watches me. “Tell me what is too far to ask or dare you.” 

She raises both eyebrows, biting down on her lip. I watch her very carefully as the wheels spin in her beautiful head. It takes her a moment to respond, her cheeks flushing. Another shot, she’s definitely drunk. I can see it in her eyes. 

“Nothing.” 

“What?” 

“No limits, Timothée.” 

I stare at her, trying to understand exactly what she means. No limits… at all? My lower body is on fire, I’m so hard that it almost hurts. She pushes her hair behind her ear and moves to eat more chips, and my eyes flash briefly to her chest. I feel somewhat guilty, but I realize I’m too drunk to care. And apparently so is she. 

“Truth or dare?” She says. 

“Dare.” 

“I dare you to kiss me again,” she giggles, moving around the counter. I panic but don’t move, turning to face her and praying that she keeps her eyes on my face. 

“What a fucking chore,” I sigh as I roll my eyes. 

“Well then, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

I laugh loudly and take her hand, tugging her close and weaving my fingers into her hair to kiss her. She smiles and leans into my body, and that’s when I know she can feel my lust. She doesn’t react, though, much to my relief… she just keeps kissing me. 

We stand there and kiss for a long while, her hands traveling down my chest and around my waist. I hold her head in place as I kiss her, my other hand cupping her cheek, my thumb slowly caressing her soft skin. I want to stand here and kiss this girl for the rest of my life and do nothing else. She seems willing enough. 

“Truth…” I mumble against her lips. “Or dare.” 

“Shut up,” she says back, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me harder. I groan and slide my hands around her hips, gripping them firmly, drowning in her taste and losing myself completely. 

After another moment or so I begin to pull her back to the couch, guiding her gently. She lets me, holding onto my neck. I pull back for a moment to sit down, settling in before she straddles my waist, does she know that I’m infatuated with her? She continues to kiss me, settling against my body without moving. I kiss her back, massaging her hips slowly. Eventually her mouth leaves mine and travels down my cheek and jawline. I moan and tilt my head back to let her do what she pleases. Down my neck, she suddenly pauses and speaks against my skin, her breath making me shudder. 

“I love your freckles.” 

“God dammit,” I say loudly. “I’m crazy about you.” 

She giggles and kisses me again, her hands moving into my curls to grip them gently. I kiss her back, she’s intoxicating as the whiskey, perhaps even more. Her hands move slowly down my head to my ears, finding my neck and pausing there briefly. I moan into her mouth, her touch is like sweet fire, I want her to burn me alive. Down my shoulders, she’s suddenly tugging at the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head. I lift my arms and let her, my chest heaving with anticipation, is this really happening? 

Leaning back, she tugs her shirt over her head to reveal a dark purple bra, nothing fancy, and she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I run my fingers slowly along her collarbone, and her head drops back, she moans my name, and it’s all over with. I turn my body and lift her in the air to lay her on the couch, crawling over her and kissing her urgently, so much so that it’s messy. She kisses me back and tugs me down closer, rocking her hips up, she feels so fucking good that I want to scream. I know in the back of my mind we should discuss this, I shouldn’t let her do anything while we’re both drunk, but I don’t know how to stop, I’m absolutely wild with need and desperation.   
After a few minutes her kisses begin to slow, her eyes fluttering, her grip faltering. I kiss slowly down her neck, sliding my hand down her side. “Are you tired?” 

She nods, her eyes fighting to stay open. I lift myself immediately from her body and help her sit up, kissing her forehead. “Come in my room.” 

“I don’t wanna take your bed,” she slurs, shaking her head. Pulling her shirt back on, she makes herself comfortable on the couch, pulling a pillow underneath her head and smiling up at me. “May I have some blankets?”   
I feel guilty about her sleeping there, but she looks so cute and comfortable that I decide to let her do what she wants. Moving into my bedroom, I grab some extra blankets from my closet and bring them to her, tucking her in and kissing her forehead again. 

“I hope you have sweet dreams,” I whisper. 

“I hope I dream of you.” 

“Me too.” I kiss her lightly and stand up straight. “Goodnight.” 

“Night.” 

****************************************

I’m restless again, far too aware of her presence in the other room. I toss and turn, eventually waking from a strange dream at around eight in the morning. I sit up and rub my eyes, my head aching. I can hear movement in the other room, a loud bang, and she curses profusely. Getting out of bed quickly, I walk into the living room to find her holding her knee. She’s fully dressed with her purse around her shoulders, and her coat is on the floor. 

“What happened?” 

“I banged my knee, God dammit,” she’s flustered and red. Picking up her coat, she doesn’t meet my eyes. “I have to go to work, I’m going to be late.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I have to go,” she says loudly, picking up her coat and walking out the door. I stand there with my mouth wide open, a terrible ache beginning to creep into my chest. 

What the fuck just happened? 

Was last night not real? The door is still open, and I stride over quickly to yank it open further, my chest heaving with anxiety. She’s just disappearing into the elevator, and I call out her name. She doesn’t look at me, only stepping in and loudly pressing the buttons. My heart goes with her as the elevator doors close.


	6. leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy has to leave for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

I stand in the doorway of my apartment for an indefinite amount of time, leaning against the frame weakly and staring at the place she had vanished. I reach out into empty air, cussing loudly before slamming the door shut and looking around for my phone. Finding it on the floor in the living room, I pick it up and call her, pacing back and forth, fighting back tears. She doesn’t answer, so I call her again, knowing she’s ignoring me. No answer. I call six more times before leaving a message, inhaling deeply before the beep announces itself. 

“Please call me, I don’t know what I did wrong, please don’t do this to me, I care about you so much… Please.” I feel pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. She’s worth it, and I have to right whatever I’ve done wrong. Setting my phone down to give her some time, I sit on the couch and stare at it, unable to do anything else. Minutes go by, time creeping along at a devastating pace, she suddenly texts me, and my heart leaps into my throat. 

'Please stop calling me. I need space.' 

'Please tell me what I did.'

'You didn’t do anything.'  
  
'Why did you leave?' 

'Because I’m afraid.' 

At least she’s being honest. I text back rapidly, determined to keep her talking. 

'Of what? Did I scare you too much when I kissed you?'

'No, that’s not it at all. Well, maybe a little.' 

'Please, if you care about me at all, tell me the truth.' 

She doesn’t answer for a long time, and I start to cry, my face in my hands, legs trembling. I want to call her and beg her to come back, fuck her job, please come back to me. I will make it right. 

'We are moving really quickly and it’s scaring the fucking shit out of me. I don’t know if I’m ready for this, because I have really intense feelings for you, and I’ve only known you for a week or so. That’s terrifying, Timothée. I want to spend every second with you, and I’m really overwhelmed.' 

'I’m so sorry, I… What can I do?'

'Do you feel the same way?'

'About you? Yes. Overwhelmed? In the best way possible. I’m scared too, but I want to jump.' 

'I’m afraid to jump.' 

'I know.' I inhale deeply, unsure of what to say. Sitting and thinking for a moment, my phone beeps again. 

'I’m sorry.' 

'For what?' 

'Walking out this morning. I was too afraid to face you after last night.' 

'Did we go too far?' 

'I don’t know. I thought so, considering how long we’ve known each other, but I enjoyed it a lot. So I just.. I don’t know, Tim.' 

'Maybe we don’t need to label it. Or pressure ourselves. Maybe we should just… do what we feel and let it flow.' 

'I am scared, I don’t know if I can.' 

'Should we take it slowly, then?' 

Another long silence. I’m still crying, praying to every and anyone listening for her to come back to me. I’m so desperate that I actually do become frightened, a sudden sense of understanding washing over me. 

'I won’t force you to do anything. If you need space, I will give it to you.' 

'I don’t know what I need. I know I don’t want to be away from you. But I’m just terrified.' 

'Give yourself time to think about it.' I hate the idea, but it’s the only way she will figure out what she wants. 

'Are you sure?' 

'Yes.'

'I don’t want you waiting around for me.'

'You’re worth it.' 

'No, I’m not.' 

'Yes, you are.' 

'I’ll take some time.' 

'Okay.' 

'Are you mad at me?' 

'Not at all.' I shake my head without realizing it, why in the world would I be mad at her? That would be terribly unfair. 

'Thank you for understanding. I promise I will see you again soon.' 

The text brightens my spirits a bit, and I take a screenshot, something to hold on to. 

'I trust you.' 

'Really?' 

'Yes.'

'I’ll talk to you soon, Tim.'

'I’ll miss you.' 

'Ditto.'

That’s it. I set my phone down and exhale slowly, running my fingers through my hair. If this is what she needs, then I will give it to her. It’s going to be rough, and I’m not happy about it, but she promised to see me again, and that’s what matters. I truly feel like an addict that’s been cut off from the supply, and I wonder if I should be as afraid as she is. Somehow I’m just not. Not anymore. 

I sit down for a while with my script and make notes in the margins, getting lost in the story. I wonder briefly if she will want to see me before I have to leave again for work. I’m frightened that it won’t happen, that I won’t see her for a long time. 

It will happen. It will happen. 

I chant the words in my mind over and over, tossing the script on the table and crying loudly into my hands again. 

I’m numb. I lose track of the days, of time and space, and as time passes I become truly scared of how intense this feeling is. Is this what happens when you meet your soulmate? Her absence is so thick in the air, a humidity that makes it impossible to breathe. I text her every now and then, needing to know she’s still there, needing to hold onto something. She always responds, but only once. 

A few weeks pass. I prepare myself to travel for a new job, packing up the necessities in my apartment into several suitcases. I still have over a week before I have to go, but I don’t know what else to do. I practically live out of the suitcases for another few days, quickly washing everything the night before and keeping my emotions steady. 

She doesn’t know that I’m going. She hasn’t contacted me. I lean against the doorframe of my bedroom, my chest bare and my sweatpants low, smoking a cigarette, something I haven’t done in a really long time.

Do I tell her? I have to. I can’t just leave. 

Picking up my phone, hand shaking, I call her cell phone. It rings several times, and when she answers I have to keep the shock from my voice. 

“Hello?” 

I’m speechless for a second, her voice streaking through me like electricity. 

“Timothée?” 

“Hi,” I manage. “Hi.” 

“I hope I’m not bothering you, I just… I had to tell you something.”   
“You never bother me. I’m happy you called.” She sounds like she genuinely is. My heart aches horribly at the idea of leaving in the morning. “What’s up?” 

“I’m leaving.” 

“What?” 

“I’m flying to Europe to film.” 

“When?” 

“In the morning.” 

Silence. I can hear her breathing accelerating, and I feel horrible for doing this to her. I should have told her sooner. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t-“

“Can I come over?” 

“Are you kidding me? God yes.” I don’t even hesitate. 

“I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up. 

My chest is heaving, I jump into the shower so fast that I almost slide and bang my head. Washing my hair and body, I dry myself quickly and run into my bedroom, putting a light spray of cologne on and tugging on jeans and a flannel. I stare at myself in the mirror and try to flatten my hair, my mind is racing and sprinting and flying through the air, my heart with her as she gets closer, closer, closer-  
She knocks twice, and I almost pass out. 

I slowly open the door, taking her in. She’s looking at the floor, and I stare at her until she raises her eyes and finds mine. She looks tired, but she’s more beautiful than ever. I’m left speechless as I rememorize her face, drinking her in, moving slowly aside to let her into my apartment. She passes me and I can tell she’s holding her breath because she exhales heavily once she’s several feet away. I’m dying to know what’s going through her mind, closing the door and locking it. She sets her purse down and hugs herself, looking around at everything in the room but me. I use the time to appreciate her beauty, my eyes wandering along her face and body at a leisurely pace. I’m not checking her out so much as admiring her.

“What?” She says suddenly. I realize I’m staring into her eyes, I must have lost my train of thought there. 

“I’m waiting for you to look at me.” 

Her face flushes deeply, and I feel bad for embarrassing her. “I’m sorry.” 

“Do I make you nervous?” 

“Extremely.” 

“What can I do to make it easier for you?”   
She inhales deeply, standing up straighter, and I push down a smile, wanting to be serious. “Don’t kiss me out of nowhere. It’s too much, I love it too much, just don’t do it.” My eyebrows shoot up, and I smirk, unable to hold it back. “What the fuck are you smirking at?”   
“Nothing, I’m sorry. What else?” 

“I don’t know. Just don’t do that.” 

“Sometimes I can’t help myself.” 

“I don’t get it.” 

“Oh, dear,” I say quietly, walking slowly over to her. She swallows hard and blinks rapidly, her mouth parting when I lightly touch her cheek. “You have the most beautiful mouth. I always want to kiss you.” 

She beams and turns her head to kiss my hand. I gently poke her nose and drop my arm, watching her carefully. “So… where are we?” 

“I don’t know. I’m still scared. But I…” her face flushes. “I want you.” 

“You want me?” I feel dizzy. 

“I want to be with you. All the time.” 

I step closer. “Do you trust me?” 

“I barely know you,” she says with a shaky voice.

“That’s not true.” 

“Yes… somehow I do, I trust you.” 

“Be my girlfriend.” 

She sways and grips the countertop, her eyes widening. I want to move forward to catch her, keep her safe and hold her up. But it would be too much, so I simply raise my arms in case she wants me and watch her. Leaning back against the counter, she stares back, her eyes bouncing around my face. I don’t know what she’s thinking, I’d kill to know, but suddenly she nods. 

“Okay.” 

“What?”   
“I said okay.” 

I grin slowly. “Are you serious?” She’s fucking serious, isn’t she?

“Yes,” she smiles sheepishly, looking at her feet. 

I stroll forward and bend down, tilting my face up into hers to kiss her. She laughs and playfully pushes me back, but I’m not having it. I gently grip her wrists and pull her flush against me, pressing my mouth firmly on hers. She relents immediately, leaning into my body to kiss me back, she said yes, she said yes, she said yes. I’m on top of the world, I’m soaring. 

“You’ve no idea how happy I am.”   
“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

She giggles and kisses all over my face and cheeks. But her face falls, my heart stops, it hits us both at the same time.   
I’m leaving in the morning. 

“When do you-“

“Seven.” 

She exhales through her nose and closes her eyes, running her hand slowly through her hair and shifting her weight. I hold her closer and watch her face, unable to take this pain away from her. 

“How long will you be gone?” 

“I don’t know.” 

She winces and pulls back a bit. “Tim…” 

“I know, I should have told you sooner.” 

“No, no,” she says. “I told you not to talk to me.” 

I bite my lip, not responding. 

“This fucking sucks.” 

“I know, I’m so so-“  
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” she says roughly, a new passion lighting up her eyes as she grabs my chin. “This is your life, this is your career. I’m not getting in the way.” 

I swear I fall for her again. “You’re not in the way.”   
“You know what I mean.” 

I sigh, standing back a little to give her some space. She hugs herself, her eyes welling up. I feel my heart crack. 

“What do we do?” 

“Do you still want to be with me?” 

She nods eagerly, stepping closer again. I put my hands on her cheeks and kiss her forehead. “Yes,” she breathes. 

“Then we’ll make it work.” 

She sounds unsure. “But-“

“Trust me, remember?”   
She looks petrified, but she simply nods, leaning into my body. I have to prove to her that she can truly trust me. 

“I’m going to miss you,” she says quietly, wrapping her arms around my neck. My heart melts, I want to call the director and tell her I’m not coming more than anything. For the first time in my life I want to throw my career away for a woman. She’s right, it’s only been a few weeks… but it feels so real, so right.   
“I’m going to miss you too,” I breathe, kissing her softly on the mouth. Her hand finds my cheek to kiss me back, and my phone begins to blare. Cursing, I reluctantly let go of her and answer my phone, it’s my agent. 

“You can’t be serious.” 

“You gotta be here in an hour, Tim. Hurry up.” 

They hang up. 

I look down at my phone, feeling like the world is against us. “I have to go now.” 

“What?” She looks terrified. 

“I have to leave,” I choke out, taking a moment to kiss her again. I feel horrible, I want to stay here with her forever, but I think she’d hate me for it. 

“Go, then,” she says softly, and I know there’s no animosity behind it. 

She gathers her few items as I finish packing and then escort her to the door, looking at the ceiling and cussing silently. She gazes at me, and, not for the last time, I want to be in her head.   
“Please let me know when you’re safely at the airport.” 

“I will.” 

Her eyes bounce around my face. “Goodbye, Tim.” 

I grab her arm before she turns and kiss her again, standing in the open doorway with her, uncaring that the neighbor passes and unlocks his door. She kisses me back, a tear sliding down her face, and then she turns and leaves quickly, hopping into the open elevator before it shuts.


	7. the plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy departs for filming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

I stare out the window of the car, pushing back tears yet somehow in ecstasy at the same time.

She said yes.

I smile to myself and wipe my eyes, pulling my phone out as we pull up to the airport.

'I’m here.'

'I miss you already.'

'I miss you more.'

'Doubt it. Have a safe flight.'

'I’ll text when I’m there.'

'Can you message me on a social media app? I don’t have international data.'

'You do now.'

'What?'

'I’ll pay for it if it means I can keep in contact with you.'

I get out of the car and ignore the cameras that immediately begin to flash, shoving my phone in my pocket and putting on a smile. Greeting a few fans outside, I make my way in and check-in. After going through security with my team, I pull my phone back out as I make my way to the gate.

'I can’t let you do that, Tim.'

'Why?'

'I feel bad.'

'I can handle it, trust me.'

'If it means talking to you, then maybe.'

'Maybe?'

I sit down to wait for the plane, staring at the screen until she answers. I’m hanging onto her every word even if it’s over text.

'Alright. If you’re sure.'

'I’ll have my agent send you my info, just update your payment.'

'Thank you. I don’t deserve you.'

'Stop that.'

The flight attendant begins to call for boarding, and I stand immediately, entering with the first-class passengers. A few other celebrities are there as well, and we greet each other kindly, bantering as we make our way to the plane. Once in my seat, I pull my phone out again. It suddenly dawns on me that her past relationships probably made her believe she wasn’t good enough for anyone. My heart aches.

'Please fly safely.'

I long for her, closing my eyes and leaning my head back on the seat.

'I’ll text when I’m there.'

'Thank you.'

I sent her a heart emoji, and she responds with a kissy one. I smile and turn my phone on airplane mode, exhaling slowly as the plane begins to move. I can feel her slipping away, I can feel her getting further and further, and then I’m in the air, flying away from the girl of my dreams.

The first hour of the flight is excruciating, I’m so aware of how fast I’m moving away from where I want to be, where I should be. I put a movie on and try to get into it, fast-forwarding through the romantic scenes with a pained heart. Eventually drifting off as we cross the ocean, I dream of the shape of her lips, the way her hair shines, her laugh, her smile. She’s gotten so far under my skin, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I sleep fitfully, though, waking up several times and adjusting my position. By the time the sun begins to rise I feel exhausted, gladly accepting a coffee from a flight attendant.

We land carefully on the runway, welcome to London. I pull my phone out as the plane slowly makes its way to the gate, turning it back on. She’s sent me a bunch of messages.

'I hope you’re safe.'

'I miss you.'

'I feel annoying. But I want to talk to you.'

'Fuck I miss you.'

My heart cracks in half, and I begin to tear up again, closing my eyes and willing it to go away.

'I’m here. I miss you terribly. You will never annoy me, I cannot get enough of you.'

I sip my coffee slowly as we depart the plane and I’m escorted to a car, waving at fans in the terminal and smiling broadly. They never let me down, they never cease to amaze me. I want to stop and take photos and speak with them, but I’m ushered out quickly much to my dismay.

The day is bright and sunny, and I close my eyes to let the warmth soak into my skin before getting into the car. I try to remember that we’re under the same sunlight, the same stars, moon, and sky, and it helps a bit, though I’m overly conscious of the ocean between us. I send her a photo of the blue sky.

'I see you in every beautiful thing.'

The day is long, and I know she’s at work. I figure she’s trying to focus on her job rather than me, which is fine, though I selfishly wish she wouldn’t. I do my best to focus as well, greeting my co-stars and talking with the director, flipping through the script, soaking in the atmosphere. A few crew members are familiar, but most are not, and I spend a good portion of the day introducing myself and familiarizing myself with the new group I’m going to be working with. My exhaustion begins to set in as the sunlight fades, but I find a renewed energy when I see she’s messaged me.

'Missing you. How’s it going?'

'Shouldn’t you be working?'

'Shut up.'

'Lol. It’s going fine. Missing you too.'

'Just wanted to check in. x'

'xx'

I hate the time difference because I know it’s going to fuck up our communication. I make a mental note to talk to her about it later, to set up some sort of schedule for us to be able to keep talking regularly. I feel so much, and I know I need to sleep. Crashing early that night, I allow myself a few moments to talk to her once again before closing my eyes for the night.

'How was your day?'

'Long and lonely and not over yet.'

I cringe.

'Same.'

'Don’t you have your crew to hang out with?'

'None of them are you.'

'I know that, but…'

'But nothing.'

'You should rest, Timothée.'

'I want to talk to you.'

'Rest is more important.'

'Bullshit.'

'Don’t argue with me, mister.'

'Ooh, call me that again.'

'Lol.' I can almost hear her giggling, the sound lighting up the darkest parts of my mind.

'I will try to sleep. I hope I dream of you.'

'I hope you do too. Check in with me in the morning even if I’m asleep.'

'Of course. x'

'Goodnight, Tim.'

'Goodnight, sweetheart.'


	8. lucy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy meets an unexpected intern. He makes a plan to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

The first few days drag like molasses, and I feel myself clambering over my feet everywhere I go. I try to throw myself into my role, and it works sometimes. I try to remember that I’m not me, I’m playing someone else, and my troubles can wait while I do my job. It gets a bit easier, and we make sure that we keep in contact at least once a day no matter what, even if I barely have the time. I make it. She keeps me up to date on her work, talking with a bubbly voice over Facetime, using exclamation points in her texts, I miss her presence so terribly. It’s not until the end of the first week that I meet Lucy. 

Lucy is an intern on set that assists everyone with anything, learning as she goes, running around on shaky feet and breathless every time we speak. She’s so sweet and thoughtful, and I can feel her passion as she watches us work. I want her to do well, so I take her under my wing and try to help her a bit as she does what she needs to. She’s a rather beautiful girl, something that I don’t really consider until later on. She begins to spend a lot of time with me, though it changes nothing about my relationship with my girl. Lucy is completely different in every way, she’s her own person, and I look at her as a younger sister. A few weeks pass, and I continue to talk to my girl every day, religiously. She’s all that occupies my mind besides my job, and I truly don’t realize what could happen until it’s right in my face. 

We’re walking down the streets in London one afternoon, I’m showing her around and talking with my hands as I explain the city and where everything is. She’s attentive and keeps up eagerly with me, we walk far apart, but it doesn’t matter. They find us, and everything goes to shit. Pictures are on the internet before I can even inhale, who is this new girl with Timothée Chalamet, is he no longer single? They begin to stalk and follow Lucy, giving her a hard time, cornering her when I’m not around. 

My fear rises when she doesn’t speak much the following night, and I have to make it right. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Who is she?” 

My heart aches. “She’s an intern.” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s nothing. We’re friends, and they are twisting the entire thing around.” 

“She intimidates me.” 

“Why?” 

“Because she gets to spend so much time with you while I haven’t had much, and on top of that she’s fucking gorgeous.” 

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” 

“Tim, please.”

“I’m sorry, I am really sorry this happened. But you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Really?” She sounds unsure.

“I’ll prove it to you.” 

“How?” 

“I’m coming home for a visit soon.” I didn’t plan it at all, I didn’t even ask anyone, but I don’t care. It’s only been a few weeks, but I can handle a day or two and some flights. I will work it out somehow. 

“What? You just left like four weeks ago.” 

“I have a small break.” 

“Tim, are you kidding me?” 

“No.” 

She inhales sharply and giggles, and I can see her clear as day, my beautiful girl, that stunning smile.

“I can’t wait, when is it?” 

“Um, we’re working it out.” 

“You don’t have a break, do you?” 

“No, but I’m going to work something out.” 

“Timmy-“ 

“You can’t change my mind.” 

“I don’t want you risking your career for me.” 

“I’m not risking anything. I can rearrange my shooting schedule.” 

“I feel like that is going to annoy people.” 

“I will figure it out, give me a few days?” 

It takes much longer than anticipated. My director is certainly not happy, and he has to do a lot to arrange my visit back to the States. I take on double duty, shooting more hours in a day than usual, living on coffee and sleeping only a few hours a night. They pat makeup on my face to get rid of the circles under my eyes, but I know it’s going to be worth it. We continue to talk each day, but it’s briefer than before. I’m still falling, I don’t know how, she’s so far away, sometimes we barely say anything, but I’m hooked. We’ve known each other almost two and a half months now, though most of it has been via technology. 

Is it too soon? I hold it back. 

Another week passes before I figure out the flight schedule, I have to wait a few more days to be able to head home. The more we talk the more I miss her, the more we don’t talk the more I miss her. The night before my flight we’re texting as I lie in bed with a shaky body. Lucy has just left and gone back to her hotel, for the only time we can see each other is at night now when no one is around. I’m not trying to sneak around with her, she’s just a friend, and I know it in my heart. She understands the boundaries very well, and she doesn’t break them. 

Was she there?

Stop worrying about Lucy. She’s my friend. 

I’m sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry for. 

I’m really insecure after my last relationship. 

I know. But I’m never going to do that to you. I know it’s hard to trust, but have faith in me. 

I miss you.

I miss you so much. Tomorrow is going to be amazing. 

It’s going to drag for me. 

At least you can do stuff, I have to sit still for hours upon hours just thinking about you. I’m not excited for that part.

Lol, I wish we could talk. 

I could get wifi. 

No, let’s not. Let’s just wait.

Why?

It’ll be even better.

Somehow she’s right. Alright. 

You should rest, you have to be up and ready to go tomorrow. 

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep. 

Try.

I don’t want to. You’re too far away from me. 

Have you been sleeping poorly? 

Yes.

Me too.

I hate that.

I’ll get used to it. 

I like the sound of that. 

My feelings for you are so strong, Tim. I see your face and everything feels… 

Yeah?

I feel safe. Alive and electric. 

My body tingles, a twitch between my legs, I close my eyes and inhale through my nose, exhaling harshly out of my mouth before responding. 

I can’t wait to get my hands on you.

Don’t do that to me.

This time, you need to tell me if I go too far, okay?

I doubt that will be much of an issue.

What? My excitement increases. 

I’m far more comfortable with you now, so we’ll see what happens. 

She sends a wink emoji, and I roll onto my stomach, yelling into my pillow with joy and laughter. 

I can’t fucking wait.

Sleep, Timothée.

Can I call you real quick?

Yes.

I dial her up immediately, rolling onto my back and smiling at the ceiling. 

“Hi.” 

Her voice is sweet music, a melody that sings me to sleep each night. “Hello beautiful.” 

She giggles. “Why do you wanna talk on the phone?”

“I just want to hear your voice.” 

“Timothée?” 

I inhale deeply. “Mmm?” 

She’s silent for a minute, and I hold my breath, waiting for it. Say it, baby girl. 

“I don’t know. I just miss you.” 

Exhaling through my nostrils, I cover my face with my hand in bleak disappointment. I know she wants to say it as much as I do, but she isn’t ready yet. I can’t push her or I might push her away.

“I’ll be there before you know it.” 

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“I have planned everything out extensively, it’s fine.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

A pregnant silence again, it’s on her lips, it’s on my own, dancing between us like a beautiful ballerina. 

“You should sleep.” 

“I suppose.” 

“I can’t wait to see you.” 

“Ditto, babe.” 

“I hope you can sleep.” 

“I’ll find a way.” 

“I’ll see you soon. Text me when you’re about to take off.” 

“Will do.” 

“Goodnight, Timothée.” The way my name rolls off of her tongue is tantalizing. 

“Goodnight.” 

I hang up and let my arm fall onto the bed, the phone dropping from my hands. She’s everywhere, I can breathe her in the air though she’s thousands of miles away. I roll onto my side and hug my pillow, shaking with excitement. I have no idea how I’m going to get any rest tonight, and I wonder how long it’s going to take for only a few moments before I pass out, pure exhaustion taking over.


	9. the visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothee comes for a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

My skin is literally on fire. I can taste her on my tongue like a sweet strawberry, she’s so close that I can feel her. 

Are you almost here? She’s waiting outside my apartment, I feel so bad because there’s so much traffic. 

Yes.

I’m shaking, is that weird?

I’m fucking vibrating. 

Lol. I’m so excited.

I am here.

AHHHHHHHH

Here I come. 

I shove my phone in my pocket and shakily get out of the taxi, tugging on my luggage and pulling my backpack on. I look at the building before me, my eyes finding my floor, she’s there, she’s here. 

I drag my bags behind me without care as I jog breathlessly to the elevator, pressing the button multiple times at the speed of light. I can feel every molecule in my body as the numbers beep, my breathing accelerating. 

Ding.

I step out from the elevator and there she is. She’s wearing a plain red shirt and dark jeans, her hair shiny and bright. She squeals loudly, I drop my bags, and she jumps into my arms, her purse landing with a thud on the ground behind me. 

“Hi!!” 

“HI!!” 

She’s kissing all over my face, she smells amazing, my knees are buckling. I squeeze her so close, cherishing every second of her touch.

“Let me help you with your stuff,” she mumbles into my hair. 

I nod and gently set her on her feet, looking into her face. She’s absolutely glowing, sunshine in her eyes, and my insides melt from the heat. 

“Thank you.” 

“Where’s your key?” Her voice is shaking. 

I dig into my pocket and tug it out, opening my door and carrying my things inside. She grabs a bag and pulls it behind her, shutting the door with her foot and reaching back to lock it. I look around briefly before finding her again, and she’s striding toward me, her hands are in my hair, and she’s kissing me like she’s gone for months without oxygen and my lips are her air. I wrap my arms around her waist tightly and pull her close again, kissing her back and trying to ignore my pounding heart. The world stops, we stand there for an indefinite amount of time, unwilling to let go, unwilling to be apart any longer. 

“I missed you so much,” she says into my mouth, she tastes like cherry chapstick and Pepsi. 

“Ditto.” 

A small giggle, she slides her hands down my ears to my cheeks, pulling back to look at me. 

“Look at that face!” She exclaims, bouncing up on the balls of her feet. I laugh and blush, turning my head to kiss her palm. I have to hold the words back. She’s not ready to hear them. 

“You’re everything.” 

“Are you hungry?” 

“Why does everyone always ask me that when I land?” 

“Because I just assume you are.” 

“Maybe.” 

Another giggle, she pulls her phone out and calls to order us a pizza. I place my suitcases in my closet, leaving them to be forgotten for days. They don’t matter. 

“Should be here soon.” 

“Thank you.” 

“How are you? Are you tired?” 

I realize suddenly that I’m fucking exhausted, the excitement seeping into my bones, my body relaxing. 

“Yes.” 

She takes my hand and leads me to my room, marching with confidence in a way that makes me smile. Everything she does makes me smile. 

“You can have pizza later.” 

“No, I want pizza first.” 

I can almost see her rolling her eyes, but she continues to pull me to my bed. “Pizza in bed.” 

“With you?” 

“Of course, where the fuck would I go?” 

She’s so smart sometimes, it turns me on a little. 

“Good answer.” 

She wrinkles her nose up and pushes me to sit on the bed, kicking her shoes off. I pull my shirt over my head and kick off my own, falling onto my back on the mattress and staring at the ceiling. She crawls next to me and lays on her side, her eyes bouncing around my face and body. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“You.” I turn my head to look back at her, soaking her in, drinking her deeply, quenching my thirst.

“What about me?” 

“How beautiful you are. I forgot.” 

“We facetimed and sent photos!” 

“In person it’s different.” 

She smiles and kisses my cheek, snuggling close. I turn onto my side and rub my nose against hers, pecking her lips lightly. 

“So I’m not going to the door,” she says, but I can tell she’s not serious. 

“You’re going to make me get the fuck up?” 

“I might.” 

“Cruel.” 

“It happens.” 

I can’t help but smile as I lean forward to kiss her again, I cannot help myself. I can’t remember what it was like to not be touching her. An empty void now filled. 

We lie there silently and just watch each other, the lack of sound intimate and comfortable. 

“Tell me how filming was?” She says after a while. 

“Incredible as usual. Harder than usual.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I missed you.” 

She smiles broadly, I know she just needed to hear it. “Maybe someday I can go with you.” 

My heart skips several beats, the idea sending me into a wild tailspin. I would never be able to focus if she was on set with me. But I don’t want to refuse. 

“I’d love that.” 

“Really?” 

“You’d be immensely distracting, but perhaps not so much as when I’m without you.” 

A loud knock at the door, she sits up quickly and skips out of the room. I chuckle to myself and sit back up, running my fingers through my hair. I pick up the remote to my small television and put Netflix on, arranging the pillows so we can both sit up. She brings the box in a moment later, proudly placing it on the bed before me. I open it and take a piece, wolfing it down so fast I give myself the hiccups. She eats slowly, asking me questions, losing herself in my answers, we talk so easily. 

“She still intimidates me.” She says suddenly, and I realize I haven’t thought of Lucy since I last saw her.

“I understand, but you have nothing to worry about,” I say firmly, picking up another slice and taking a large bite. “I promise.” 

“I don’t know that it will go away, though.” 

“I hate that.” I truly do. Lucy is and always will be my friend. I only have eyes for the woman before me. 

She crosses her legs and chews thoughtfully, her eyes wandering around my room. I watch her as she finishes her first piece and picks up another. Her lips are shining and luscious. 

“Good pizza.” 

“It is good, I did well,” she replies, biting into the piece with purpose. She’s clearly quite hungry as well. 

“I’m proud of you.” 

She looks like she wants to say something, I can see her thinking, but she holds it back. My curiosity is overwhelming and strong. 

“What do you want to do tonight?” 

“Watch Netflix and sit here with you. That’s all.” 

“I love it.” 

There it is again. I press my lips together, I can’t say it, I can’t. I’m not even sure if it’s real, but something in me keeps screaming that it has to be. 

Now it’s her turn to wonder what I’m thinking, because she stops chewing. But she’s not so shy. “What are you thinking about, Tim?” 

“Just thinking some thoughts.” 

She takes the hint, but I know she’s disappointed. She’ll hear it soon enough. 

We both finish our pizza and shove the box aside, snuggling close together under the blankets and watching the tv, our eyes glowing and our bodies tangled together. I have to close my eyes several times to will away a spark of lust, she’s so close, I can smell her perfume, her shampoo, she’s like a drug. I start to drift a little, my eyes fluttering, but she makes a soft sound and presses her lips to my neck, and I’m suddenly wide awake. 

Turning my head, I kiss her tenderly, my hand slowly sliding onto her hip, I know she’s going to know that I want her and I don’t care. She deserves to know. She kisses me back, moving her hand to my neck, it intensifies so quickly that I lose track of everything around me, our teeth bumping together, breathing each other’s air. She suddenly rolls on top of me and begins to grind her hips down into mine, I cannot help the moan that leaves my body. A smile, she’s satisfied, her waist moving faster when I grab her hips to assist her movements. She kisses down my neck, I arch my back into her body, my eyes rolling back and my hair clinging to my forehead. 

“Fuck,” I gasp. 

“Is this too much?” 

“It’s too much and not enough.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” she murmurs, her breath hot on my neck. I shudder and roll on top of her, gripping the inside of her knee and wrapping it around my waist. 

She makes a small sound of shock but goes with it, tightening her leg’s grip on me. I kiss her with everything in me, the dam has broken, I’m pouring all I have into this girl. She’s gasping for air but somehow keeps up, and I can’t help myself, my hands begin to wander. I’m slow and careful, asking permission with my fingers. She doesn’t stop me, and I slide my hand slowly up her shirt to her stomach, pressing it flat against her skin. She moans my name, and I completely lose it. 

“Oh my fucking God,” I breathe, desperate for more. “Can I touch you?” 

“Touch me everywhere, touch me anywhere.” 

I immediately slide my hand down into her panties, cupping her heat and biting down on her lower lip. She’s soaked, I’m soaring, she grabs my hair and lifts her waist up into mine, asking for more. I slide my fingers between her folds and kiss down her jaw, inhaling her, tasting her, needing her. Twisting her fingers around my curls, she gently pulls, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep myself from coming. Concentrate, focus, I don’t move for a few seconds but continue to kiss her until the feeling dissipates. I begin to slowly massage her sex, pressing my open mouth against hers and circling her clit with my middle finger. She gasps and releases a soft sound, her eyes growing wide before shutting tightly. I rub faster, nipping down her jaw and neck, the friction building as she wiggles around beneath me. 

“That feels… so good,” she manages, a moan accompanying every breath. 

I suddenly don’t give a shit if I come in my pants, I begin to thrust my waist against her body slowly, growling into her neck and moving my hand as fast as I can. She’s twitching and groaning, wet and delicious, and she suddenly comes, hard and long. I lift my head and stare down at her, needing every bit of her pleasure in my memories, my mouth agape. She bites down hard on my bottom lip, her arms wrapped around my neck, and after a moment her body deflates down against the mattress. 

I stop moving and try to catch my breath as she does, I swear I can feel her heart pounding against my chest. I want to say it more than ever, I feel it more than ever, but all I can do is bury my face into her neck and hold her close. She turns her head and kisses my forehead, her fingers trailing up and down my back until I gently fall asleep.


	10. cigarettes in the morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Timothee spend a nice morning together after he arrives home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

When I wake it’s morning, and I haven’t moved an inch. She’s fast asleep beneath me, still wearing her jeans. I feel horrible all of a sudden, she must have been so uncomfortable all night. I disentangle myself from her and push myself up slowly, sleep in my eyes and hair in my face. She doesn’t move, and I carefully move off of the bed, admiring her as I step onto the floor. 

Her hair is spread across the pillow and her face is turned away, her arm up on the pillow next to her. Her chest rises and falls slowly, and her knee twitches. I tear my eyes away after another minute to use the bathroom, running my hand through my hair and squinting in the sunlight. I quickly brush my teeth before returning to the room. I open a window and smoke a cigarette, watching her sleep in complete contentment. I’m dying to see her dreams, I wonder all the time if she dreams of me. I know I dream of her. 

Half an hour passes slowly, and I smoke another cigarette as I allow myself to just sit and think, feeling fully rested and happy for the first time in a long time. She eventually rolls onto her side and sighs into the pillow, her knee pulled up toward her chest. I smile and bite my thumbnail, the sun warm on my back as I blow a final puff of smoke out the window. Her eyes open and find me immediately as soon as it shuts. 

“Good morning,” I whisper, stubbing out my cigarette and crawling back into bed with her. She beams and wiggles close, wrapping her arms around me and nuzzling her head into my neck. 

“Hi.” 

“Did you sleep alright? We didn’t move all night.”

“Not at all?” She seems surprised. 

“I woke up in the same position, you just rolled over a moment ago.” 

“Shit.” 

I laugh, kissing her forehead. “I know.” 

“I had weird dreams. About planes in the sky and a really big moon that lit up the streets at night.” 

“That sounds haunting and beautiful.” 

“It was strange.” 

“I don’t remember my dreams.” 

She sits up suddenly, stretching her limbs out and making a small noise. I beam and sit up too, pushing her hair aside to place a light kiss on her neck. I’m a fool for her. 

“I’m gonna brush my teeth,” she announces, hopping from the bed. I raise my eyebrows. 

“You planned on staying?”

“Duh.” 

I giggle, rubbing my eyes as she leaves the room to find her purse. I drag my hand down my bare chest slowly as I turn to look out the window, the sun shining in on my lap. It’s a beautiful day, and I realize I’ve missed my city as much as I’ve missed her. No one knows I’m here, and I don’t want to leave my apartment for the new few days at all until I have to go back. I want to ask her to stay with me, but she has work. The idea of being home and not with her makes me ache. 

“Where are you, Tim?” 

She makes me jump and I turn to the door to find her standing there watching me. 

“With you. As usual.” 

“Do you really think about me that much?” She walks over and crawls into bed, pushing her feet down under the blankets and getting comfortable. 

“Yes.” 

“Wow.” 

I lie down next to her and kiss her jawline, placing my hand on her hip. She sighs and runs her hand slowly up and down my arm, giving me chills. 

“What do you want to do today?” 

“Absolutely nothing. But with you.” 

She giggles and nods eagerly. “Perfect.” 

“Wait really?” 

“I took a few days off of work,” she grins, raising her eyebrows. 

My heart nearly explodes. “Oh my God!” I get to spend the next two days in my apartment with her undisturbed. The idea is almost too much to handle. 

Another giggle, she wiggles closer and sighs against my neck. I don’t remember what it was like to live without her. 

“I can’t believe you did that.” 

“There’s no way I’m working while you’re here.” 

I put my hand on her cheek and kiss her slowly, beaming into it as she kisses me back. My mind is melting like ice cream on a summer day.

“Can I make you breakfast?” 

“I’d love that,” she squeals, nodding emphatically. “What do you have?” 

“I’ve no idea, I haven’t been here in so long. Definitely not eggs.” 

“Hmmm, do you have pancake mix?” 

“I believe I do.” 

“Pancakes!” 

Laughing, I kiss her again and slide out of bed, reaching for my drawer to pull out a pair of socks. I grab her a pair of sweatpants and toss them onto the bed. She grabs them gratefully and runs from the room, and I can’t help but stare at her ass as she leaves. 

Pulling a shirt on and changing into pajama pants, I move out into the kitchen and begin to prepare breakfast, mixing the pancake batter with water in a large bowl. She appears after a few minutes, my pants dragging on the ground over her feet. 

“Don’t trip.” 

“I won’t,” she says quietly, standing behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. She kisses my shoulder. 

I smile and put my hand over hers, flipping a pancake. “What shall the madam have on top?” 

“Just syrup if you have it.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

She chuckles and pats my butt before going to sit at the dining table, crossing her legs and watching me. I can feel her eyes as I try to focus on what I’m doing, but her presence is so overwhelming and loud, I’m not used to it. 

“You okay?” 

“I’m just so aware of you.” 

“I know what you mean,” she responds, nodding. 

“I feel like I’m gonna fuck up breakfast.” 

“Just relax, Timmy.” She doesn’t sound relaxed at all. 

“You make me nervous.” 

“You make me nervous too.” 

I look up at her and grin, flipping the finished pancake onto a plate. “Done.” 

“Thank you.” She stands, and I point to the cabinet with the syrup in it. She pulls it out and puts a proper amount on top, cutting the pancake and eating it slowly while I make myself one. 

“Well done, chef.” 

“Thank you.” 

She chews silently, I can feel her eyes on me again, my body is alight with energy. When my pancake is done I make us each another, swaying my hips back and forth in the silence. I feel so comfortable with her, even without words. It’s so strange.

She tells me about her friends at work, the challenges she’s been facing there, what she’s been doing to keep busy. I let her talk as long as she wants, and she gestures wildly while she does, explaining everything in detail as I fall further and further into the abyss. I love the way she says things, the way she proves her point, the way she describes everything to create a colorful image in my mind. When she’s finished speaking I tell her about filming, avoiding Lucy as much as possible. I describe London for her, smiling when she closes her eyes and bites her lip to picture it. I want to kiss her. I tell her about my director, my co-stars, my trailer, bits and pieces of my script. She listens intently, asking a question here and there, but I know what’s on her mind. 

“How is Lucy?” 

“She’s fine, she’s still there.” 

“I don’t mean to ask about her so much.” 

“Don’t worry about it.”

She nods and smiles a little. “I’ll try.” 

I cross the space between us and wrap my arms around her waist, nuzzling her nose lightly before kissing her, speaking to her through the kiss, needing her to know that she’s all I see. She kisses me back and runs her hand through my hair, holding the back of my head. I open my mouth and taste her deeply, saying the words I am desperate for her to hear with my lips. She is so responsive and willing, and I can tell she needs this reassurance. I’ll give her anything. 

“Thank you for breakfast,” she says, pulling back and inhaling deeply. I smirk and move to clean up, pushing down the rising lust between my legs. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Tell me more about filming.” 

So I do. I talk for a long time, describing certain scenes, leaning with my back against the counter. She stands close and pushes my hair from my face a few strands at a time, her perfume teasing my nose. I slide an arm around her waist to pull her against my body as I continue to talk, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. She’s smiling so much, it’s so beautiful to see her this happy. 

“I love listening to you.” 

“Good, I’m talking a lot,” I chuckle, kissing her forehead. 

“Do you mind if I take a shower?” 

“Not at all.” I have to push away the thought of her naked in my shower. “When?” 

“Now, please?” 

“Sure.” 

I lead her to the bathroom, and she brings her purse with her, asking quietly if she can borrow some clothes.

“I don’t know why I didn’t bring any, I think I was too excited and I forgot.” 

I laugh, giving her a flannel. “No worries.” 

She makes a kissy face and shuts the door. I walk immediately into the bedroom and shut mine, breathing heavily and leaning my back against the door. I hear the water turn on, my chest is heaving, I don’t wanna be the guy jacking off in the room next to my girlfriend. I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip, sliding down until I’m sitting on the floor. I don’t know why I want her this much, but the attraction is almost too much sometimes. 

She takes a long shower, and I spend the entire time sitting on the floor until she shuts the water off. I then stand and open a window, lighting a cigarette and blowing it outside. She comes into the room with wet hair and my clothes on, and I sit on the windowsill, smiling broadly. 

“You’ve never looked better.” I take a drag, my eyes moving down her body. 

She blushes. “Thank you.” 

“Good shower?” 

“Yes, thank you.” 

I think for a moment, wondering what her shower routine is, what kind of shampoo she normally uses, how her body wash feels. She places a pair of panties into a bag in her purse with red cheeks, and I have to look away, a grin on my face. Another drag, I blow it out slowly and turn to find her approaching me. As she gets closer I can smell my shampoo on her, she smells like me and for some reason it’s a major turn on. Like she’s really, truly mine. 

“Can I have a drag?” 

“You smoke?” I’m surprised. 

“No, but I want to try it.” 

“Don’t,” I shake my head, stubbing out the cigarette. “I don’t want you doing something so unhealthy.” 

She folds her arms and raises her eyebrows. “And you’re the boss of me since when?” 

She has a point. “I’m sorry, I just want the best for you.” 

“I want to try it. Do you have any more?” 

I consider lying, but I know she’ll just go to the store if I tell her no. “Fine. One.” 

She smiles and slides her hand slowly along my bare shoulder to the back of my neck, massaging it gently while I pull a cigarette from the carton. She takes it and places it between her lips, lighting the end like a professional, and I have to push down the lust again. I, not for the last time, try to understand what it is about her that physically drives me crazy like this. 

Inhaling deeply, she immediately begins to cough, tears in her eyes as she leans forward. I panic and take the cigarette, cursing myself for not seeing this coming. Grabbing a bottle of water from the side of my bed, I hand it to her, and she drinks slowly, pausing every now and then to continue to cough. I feel so bad, I shouldn’t have let her do this. I move to stub it out, but she shakes her head and beckons for it. 

“I really want to try.” 

“But-” 

“Tim, please give it to me.” 

I hand it over automatically and without any more questions, exhaling softly through my nose. She takes it and inhales slowly this time, tilting her head and thinking about it before blowing out a bit of smoke. 

“Interesting.” 

“Do you like the taste?” 

“I’m not sure.” She wrinkles her nose. My heart soars, I really don’t want her smoking cigarettes. 

“Want more?” 

“You can finish it.” 

I smile and take it from her fingers, breathing in deeply and pulling her against my hip. “You’re so beautiful.” 

“So are you.” 

I laugh, squeezing her. “Thanks.” 

“No, for real,” she says with wide eyes, serious and sure. “You’re just… you’re so beautiful, Tim. It’s kind of intimidating.” 

I’m a bit surprised, but I had heard it before. “Trust me I’m nothing compared to you.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

She presses her lips together and runs her fingers through my hair, thinking. I’d give anything in the world to be in her head. She stays that way for another minute and I can’t take it. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“Last night.” 

A twitch between my legs. “What about it?” 

“How much I enjoyed it, but how scary it is.” 

“I know. I’m honored that you trusted me that much.” I kiss her hand and then her wrist, pushing down the words yet again. 

“I want more, but I’m frightened of more.” She looks down. “I’m already really attached to you, Timothée.” 

I want to reassure her, I want to promise her that I will never hurt her, because I cannot imagine any scenario in which I would. But I can’t make promises, because sometimes things are out of my control. I sigh and pull her closer, kissing her shoulder and speaking against her skin. 

“I’m scared, too. But all we can do is trust, take a leap, try to have faith in each other.” 

“That sounds good, but…” 

“But?” 

“I really can’t stop thinking about Lucy.” 

I groan sadly and lift my head, putting my hand on her cheek and holding her gaze. 

“Lucy is my friend, she’s like my little sister. She is important to me, but she will never ever be you. If I have to I’ll tattoo it on my forehead every day so you never forget.” 

She giggles a bit and pecks me on the mouth, her hands on my shoulders. “I-” A pause. 

“You?” Say it. Say it, sweet girl.  
“I want to watch a movie.” 

My heart sinks, but I try to push it down, brushing my hand across her cheek. “Anything you want.”


	11. confidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A romantic day turns into an adventurous evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

We spend the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching some of her favorite movies, a special way of getting to know her better. My arm drapes around her shoulders and one of her legs hangs casually through mine. I find it hard to focus at times, but her enthusiasm in explaining specific points or her favorite parts are enough to keep me where I need to be. 

“Isn’t it fucking insane, Timothée?!” She exclaims. “That something could take a signal from planet Earth and bounce it back to us after so many years! And Hitler! Fucking Hitler of all people!” Contact is one of her favorites. 

“I know, when he came on-screen on I got the chills.” 

“Right?!” She nearly shrieks, so clearly pleased that I’m just as into the story as she is. “It’s amazing, I wonder if this could ever truly happen.”   
“If it did, do you think they’d actually tell us?” 

She purses her lips thoughtfully, and I can’t help it, placing a gentle peck to that beautiful mouth. I move to pull back and she takes my chin in her hand and tugs me back to kiss me more intimately, her hand moving along my cheek. I sigh into it, almost forgetting the question I asked her. She pulls back gently and shrugs. 

“Probably not. It might cause some serious anarchy.” 

“We have enough of that,” I roll my eyes, pulling her close and kissing her cheek as the movie continues. 

Once it finishes the light begins to fade from the sky, and I sit up to stretch my limbs, sliding from the bed and scratching the back of my head. “Hungry?” 

“Leftover pizza?” 

“I ate it all.” 

She screams with laughter, a sight I wish I could tattoo to the inside of my eyelids. “Seriously?” 

“Listen,” I laugh, leaning against the doorframe. 

“How about I cook you something?” Her eyes are shining. 

“I don’t have many ingredients here.” 

“Let me explore?” 

I step back, gesturing to the kitchen and nodding. “What’s mine is yours.” 

She marches by me and plants a loud smooch to my cheek as she passes, drawing a deep flush from my neck to my hairline. I follow as she digs around, finding an old box of pasta and a newer bottle of spaghetti sauce that I don’t remember purchasing. Flitting about the kitchen as if she’s lived there for months, she begins to prepare a simple spaghetti dinner, and all I can do is stare at her. Stare at the way she walks, the curve of her knees and elbows, how she pushes her hair from her face to focus on what she’s doing, the flutter of her lashes when she closes her eyes to taste the sauce. 

“I have um... some...spices…” I say as if I’m hypnotized, I’m absolutely captivated by her. “In that cabinet.” 

She turns over her shoulder and digs out some basil, oregano, and garlic powder to add into the sauce for extra flavor. “You alright?” 

“You’re just so beautiful. I could watch you all day. Especially in my kitchen.” 

She giggles and stirs the pasta, quickly draining it and shrugging her shoulders. “I’m okay.” 

“Hey,” I say firmly, suddenly needing her to understand. Not anger. Frustration. “Look at me.” 

She stands up straight and makes eye contact immediately, her hair stuck on an eyelash and a spoon dangling from her left hand. I move to stand closer to her, putting my hands on her cheeks and kissing her. 

“You. Are. Beautiful. You’re gorgeous. Don’t let anybody let you believe otherwise. Okay is an insult to you.” 

Her face turns crimson as she kisses me back and stands on her tiptoes, the spoon almost faltering in her grip as she loses herself in me. I hold her close for another moment before releasing her to her duties, smiling to myself and sitting down to watch as she finishes her grand masterpiece. 

When it’s done, she finds some old blue plates I have shoved away in a back cabinet and piles the pasta on top, spreading the sauce over each helping evenly before proudly placing it before me. As she moves to walk away to get her own, I take her hand and gently kiss it, grinning against her skin. 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course,” she says with a small giggle, messing up my hair. 

I don’t realize how entirely starved I am until I begin to dig in, and, though its store-made sauce and regular pasta it’s absolutely delicious simply because she made it. She settles in next to me and we eat in a comfortable silence, my hand creeping under the table to lightly rest on her thigh. She doesn’t object, much to my delight. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to own her or anything; I simply find comfort in touching her. I suspect she does as well, for her hand covers mine as she eats with the other. 

“Good?” She wants to know. 

“So good,” I nod eagerly, scooping up the last bits of pasta and standing to put my bowl into the sink. 

Standing almost immediately though she isn’t done, she nudges me away with her hips and begins to wash dishes. 

“Oh, oh no you don’t,” I shake my head quickly, wrapping my arms around her middle and picking her up into the air to turn her to face the opposite direction. She giggles hysterically, kicking her feet playfully. “I do the dishes in my own house, missy.” 

“But I wanna help!” 

“You can help by standing there and looking stunning,” I insist, picking up the dishes and scrubbing them furiously. “I got this. Finish your dinner.” 

“Let me dry?” 

I risk it. Turning to look back at her, she’s batting her eyelashes and smiling so bright and stunning that I nearly go blind.

“Fine.”

“Thank you,” she’s grinning to herself, and I know exactly what she’s thinking. She’s got me wrapped around her finger as easy as pie. 

I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Once we finish cleaning up, she pulls me into the living room to dance with me, her arms around my neck and mine hooked around her hips. She is my music, the sound of her breathing, the soft pat of her steps, her heartbeat echoing. I hold her close, cherishing every second with her and wanting desperately to say so many things and not knowing how. 

“Do you want a drink?” I ask softly. 

“I’d love one,” she responds happily, shoving me playfully. “Whatever you’ve got.” 

I pull out a full bottle of tequila as well as a margarita mix and wiggle my eyebrows, setting them on the counter and easily making us both a mixed drink. She leans against the countertop and tells me stories of her childhood, my mother always made cookies with this specific type of chocolate, my siblings and I almost fought over the shower, just pieces of her, bits of her life that I’m so desperately grateful to get a glimpse of.

I slide the drink across the counter to her and clink our glasses together, both of us drinking the entire thing at once. 

“Impressive,” she says with a teasing tongue.

“Wanna see impressive?” I puff out my chest, somehow needing to prove something even though she’s already mine. One, two, three shots of tequila in a row and I’m choking, tears sliding down my cheeks as she laughs boisterously beside me. 

“That was indeed impressive,” she says, rubbing my back and giggling. 

I feel dizzy, and I stand up straight, wiping my mouth with a towel and taking deep breaths. “That was harder than I thought it would be. I’m old.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Tim.” My lust twitches with her sharp tone. 

She picks up the shot glass and does two of her own, not needing to challenge me, but wanting to keep up. It doesn’t take long before we’re both giggling comfortably and leaning against each other. 

“I love this. Just spending time with you like this.” Her eyes are glowing, sparkling with alcohol and warmth. My heart nearly stops at the first two words, I’m just dying for her to come out with it, I’ve been wanting to say it to her since she went off about Poe. 

“Me too,” I whisper, kissing the side of her head and moving around the counter to put the alcohol away. No need to get blasted, no need to be drunk. I want to remember every single detail of my time with her, and being tipsy only makes that more fun. 

“Tim?” Her voice is squeaky and unsure, and I turn to face her immediately. 

“Yes?”

She stifles a giggle behind her hand and shrugs, rocking back and forth on her feet. “I want… to try something new with you.” 

My heart begins to pound incessantly, and I step closer without thinking, putting my hand on her hip and nuzzling my nose against hers. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Like what?” 

“You’ll see.” She turns and takes my hand, tugging me to sit on the couch. I follow her eagerly and with curiosity, settling next to her and waiting. 

All of a sudden she’s on her knees, unbuckling my belt, tugging it from the loops with raucous laughter and pulling at my pants. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I gasp, groaning loudly and running my hands through her hair. “What… What?” 

“Go with it, handsome?” She bats her eyelashes at me and I melt into the couch, pushing my own pants off for her. 

Her eyes are wide and dark as she takes in my lower body, my lust standing straight up against my stomach. I’ve thought about this for so long, over and over again, seeing her look at me this way. She looks hungry almost, but oh so curious, and one hand tentatively reaches up, her pointer finger dragging it along the slick skin of my tip. My head falls back instantly, a loud cry emitting into the room, I’m so fucking happy that I’m not drunk for this. 

“You’re…” she starts, stuttering over her words. “You…” 

“It’s okay,” I lean forward and lift her chin, kissing her gently. “Just breathe.” I pull back. “And know that I want you to do what feels comfortable for you. Don’t force yourself.”

She rolls her eyes, a smart move that I’ll remember, and suddenly leans forward to take almost my entire length into her mouth. 

“Holy FUCK!” I nearly yell, biting down hard on my lip and drawing blood. My hands find her hair to push it aside, I want to see her beautiful face while she’s being this intimate with me. She seems somewhat experienced yet also nervous as she bobs her head up and down, her hand working my base as she moves. I’m thoroughly impressed yet too blissed out to express it, and all I can do is twitch, whine, and wiggle beneath her as she cups underneath and gives me a gentle squeeze. 

“Is this… okay?” She wants to know. 

“God don’t stop, it feels fucking amazing,” I choke, running my hand slowly up my own neck and into my hair. 

My eyes want to close, to feel the pleasure completely, but I can’t stop looking at her. Her eyes are bright and daring, and I get the sense that this is the most confidence she’s had in a long time. I moan and groan and cry out willingly and often, wanting to encourage her, show her exactly what she’s doing to me. Her tongue flattens and moves up the underside of my length, and she tastes the wetness of my tip. 

“Baby you’re going to make me come,” I warn, shifting my lower body and refusing to break her gaze. 

She continues her assault, smiling wickedly at me. “I’ve never swallowed before.” 

“What?” I nearly pass out. 

“May I?” 

“God do whatever you want to me.” 

Up and down, lips wrapping around my tip and teasing it with small sucking sensations. My insides are on fire, and the pressure at the base of my spine begins to build rapidly. But all it takes is another moment of eye contact. My hand moves over her neck her as she pushes me further and further, and when it finally happens, my mind nearly explodes. I empty abundantly into her mouth with an echoing grunt, watching with absolute fascination as she takes it in stride without so much as a blink. 

“Holy fuck,” I say.

“You taste good,” she responds. 

I growl loudly and pull her to her feet, tugging the inside of her knees until she’s straddling me, and I kiss her, long and hard, if I can’t say it out loud then I have to show her somehow. She kisses me back eagerly, her hands moving into my hair as she presses close.


	12. Lucy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy throws a wrench into Tim's plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

Time seems to stand still when she’s gone. It doesn’t flow like when she’s around, easy as breathing, moving along, sometimes far too quickly. Even so, despite the seemingly slow passing of time, a few months go by. I love her more every day, I feel myself ready to burst with it each time she’s on my doorstep. Her hair grows out, stunning and always shining. My own begins to curl around the nape of my neck, hang in my face, her hands are always in it when she kisses me. I can still sense a hesitation there, something that whimpers beneath the surface and knocks on the door, wanting to escape. I do everything I can to reassure her that I have no intention of leaving (or cheating), but I can’t force her to believe me. 

I spend a solid month and a half away from her doing festivals and promo for a specific film, my heart only half in every choice and every step. I feel heavy, deflated, lifeless at times, like my world is slowly draining of color like a fresh painting doused in water. She’s so far away, I can Facetime her all I want, but to feel her presence, to touch her skin, it’s something I grow to cherish more and more as time goes by. 

Cool air, sunny skies, I’m across the ocean as the phone rings. It’s early morning where she is, later into the afternoon for me. 

“Hello?” 

“Baby,” I breathe, smiling and sitting heavily. I’m in my hotel room, a red, fluffy comforter that my Mother gave me years ago wrapped around my bare shoulders. 

“Hi, Timmy!” 

“How are you?” 

“Good, so much better now,” she exclaims, her enthusiasm endearing. “How are you?” 

“I’m amazing right now.” 

“In general?” 

“Tired,” I admit. “Aching for you.” 

“I miss you, too.” 

“I’ll be home in a few weeks.” 

“I’m eagerly awaiting you.” 

“I certainly hope so,” I respond with a smile.  
“How is Lucy?” 

“Babe, I haven’t talked to Lucy in weeks.” She hadn’t asked about her in a long time, and it alarmed me. Lucy and I simply stopped speaking, something that I had expected. I met a lot of people while working, and though I did my best to maintain contact with friends, it didn’t always work. “Why?”

She hesitates, and I bite my lip. 

“Hello?” 

“I’m here,” she says. 

“What’s wrong?” Why didn’t she tell me immediately, as soon as she picked up? 

“She’s all over the Internet, Tim.” Her voice is suddenly hard, it has a strange edge to it that makes me wince. “She’s saying… things about you. I think she sold a story to a magazine.” 

My stomach falls out of my ass, my heart in my throat, my entire body shaking. All of a sudden there’s a loud banging on my door. 

“Timothee!” 

“Who is that?” 

“My agent, I’ll call you later, baby, I’m so sorry.” I hang up, probably the worst decision I could have made, and pull the door open to my trailer. 

“What the fuck is this?” They ask loudly, holding up some random gossip magazine that I know nothing about. My face is plastered on the cover next to Lucy, a selfie we took together, and the headline is… damning to say the least. 

“I have no idea,” I nearly yell, my hands weaving into my hair. “Fuck, I have… I don’t know!” 

“She’s saying that you two were in a relationship.” 

“She’s lying!” 

I can feel their eyes on me as they take in my anxiety and concern, and I know that they know that I’m telling the truth. 

“I’ll handle it,” they say quickly, turning on their heel and vanishing. I slam the door to my room and hurry back over to my phone, picking it up to call her back.   
She doesn’t answer.

I panic completely, pacing back and forth through my room as I call her again, the ringing blaring in my ear like a siren. She still doesn’t answer, so I leave her a message. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry for hanging up on you, my agent is losing their shit over this. Please, please know it isn’t true, not a single bit of it has a shred of truth to it. I’m so sorry. Please, please call me.” I hang up. 

It takes about twenty minutes, and it’s excruciating. What could she be doing? We picked a specific time for the call and set aside a good hour for it. But, then, there she is. 

“Hello?” 

“Sorry,” she says softly. “I needed… a minute.” 

“Are you okay? Please tell me you believe me.” 

“I believe you.” 

She doesn’t sound so sure, and I know why. 

“I’m coming home.” 

“What?” 

“I’m coming home,” I say loudly, turning around and looking wildly for my suitcase. 

“No, you can’t, you’re in the middle of promoting, and-”

“I’ll call in sick for a few days.” 

“Timothee this isn’t a nine to five job you can take a sick day from.” 

“If I get sick I get sick.” 

“And if you’re seen in New York?” 

“Then I’ll say it’s a family emergency.” 

“Baby…” Hearing her call me that sent sparks through my system. I could feel her, I could see her, she was suddenly so close. 

“I’m coming.” 

“Okay.” She would never refuse.


	13. finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothee comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

My agent throws a fit, but I don’t care. I tell them the truth, that I need to fix this, that it’s an emergency, that I don’t care what happens or if I get into trouble. I have to rearrange a few appearances and one screening, which is the worst of it, but I get it done. 

The sun is setting by the time I arrive at my apartment on a windy Saturday night, my hair wild around my face. I text her immediately to tell her she can come over, my hands shaking. I haven’t seen her in six weeks. 

I’m on my way.

Xx

Setting my phone aside, I jump quickly into the shower, washing off the travel within a few minutes. My hair clings to my forehead as I dry off, my legs shaking with anticipation. Dressing with shaky hands, I pull on a loose pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. She knocks lightly, and I swing the door open wide, swallowing hard. 

Her arms are folded over her chest in a protective stance, and she walks quickly by, exhaling as she goes. I shut the door behind her and lean against it, watching as she turns to face me. She’s wearing a black sweater and jeans, her hair crazy from the wind. I want to kiss her. 

“Hi,” I whisper. 

“Hi,” she responds quietly, her eyes flitting to mine briefly before returning to the floor. 

“Don’t believe it, mon amour.” 

“This is just familiar, you know?” 

“Don’t you trust me?” 

“That’s not fair. Of course I do. But I trusted him too.” 

I nod, she’s right. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” she breathes deeply, setting her purse down and stepping closer. I can tell she’s preparing herself, it’s been so long since she’s touched me. 

“What can I do to reassure you?” 

“I don’t know if you can.” 

I bite back the words, would it scare her? 

“I think I could, if you would let me.” 

She looks terrified all of a sudden. “Timothée…” 

“Let me.” 

“I’m so scared.” 

“Let me,” I insist gently, taking another step closer. 

She’s silent, and I take it as my cue to say it. 

Finally.

“I’ve been in love with you since you rambled on about Edgar Allan Poe on that park bench.” 

Her mouth falls open, her eyes circles. “What?” She squeaks. 

“You heard me.”

She’s stunned. I don’t understand why she’s so shocked by this. “Timothée…” 

Despite the raging emotions within, her voice still calms me, and I feel my breathing slow. 

“What, baby?” I can’t help it. I just fucking can’t. 

She covers her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, I-“ 

“Baby, baby,” I cross the space between us and pull her chin up, wiping her tears and leaning my forehead on hers, my insides melting. “Shhh.” 

“I didn’t know,” she whispers. 

I truly don’t get it, I can’t see how she can’t see it, but it’s then that I realize that I have to show her. 

“Stay with me.” I back up to the door and lock it, swallowing hard. 

She stares at me without blinking, her chest rising and falling slowly. Silence. I’m dying inside, begging her with my eyes, she suddenly moves. My heart begins to race, she’s closer, closer, almost standing against me now. 

“Do you know that I’m in love with you, too?” 

It’s like she tosses gasoline onto a wildfire. 

I’m kissing her so hard it hurts, teeth bumping together, lips crushed to the bone, my hands are in her hair and I’m shoving her backwards, I literally cannot take it anymore. She kisses me back with surprise, her back hitting the countertop. My hands move slowly down to her hips, and I tug them against mine, kissing the side of her neck and breathing on her ear. 

“Do you have any idea how much I want you?” 

She shudders violently, whimpering, her knees buckling beneath her. I wrap an arm around her to hold her steady, pressing my erection against her stomach. Her eyelashes flutter, she’s stuttering, and I can tell that I have to slow down. 

“Are you alright?” 

“You’re… you make me… you’re so much,” she’s gasping, and I step back a bit, watching her with concern. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“ 

“No, no, no, no,” she shakes her head and takes my hand, tugging me back. “I’m fine.” 

“Love-“

“Shut up,” she insists, kissing me again. I put my hands on her hips and push her gently back, allowing her to kiss me but putting some space between our bodies. 

“Timothée,” she whines.

It’s fucking killing me, but I can’t do this if she isn’t ready for it. “Is this too much for you right now?” She had reacted so intensely to something so simple. 

“No, I just…” she covers her face, and I reach for her, pained. “I’m so crazy about you, Tim. I have been since the beginning, and it’s really overwhelming, and when you say things like that, and kiss me out of nowhere, I just…” she puts her hands in the air, laughing. “My mind kinda becomes goo.” 

I push down the urge to kiss her again with force, not wanting to overwhelm her. She did ask me not to surprise her like that. But I ache, fuck I ache for this girl. I shift my lower body and gulp, giving myself away. She glances down at the tent in my pants and bites down on her lip. 

“It will go away.” 

“Tim,” she starts. 

“I know you’re not ready for this yet. I want you to enjoy it. It would be too much right now.” 

She doesn’t say anything, and I close my eyes, willing it to go away, I will take care of it later. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says quietly. 

“Do you remember me telling you that you’re worth waiting for?” 

She grins and looks at the floor as she has since the beginning, and I know that when we do make love it’s going to change my life.

“Can I still stay with you?” She slowly rocks up and down on the balls of her feet. 

“You know you can.” 

“I love you.” 

It’s the first time she actually says the words, and I close my eyes and let it wash over me. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from her: to be wanted by her. 

“I love you, too.” 

She hugs herself with both arms and looks at her feet, unsure of what to do. I want to hold her, but I don’t know if she wants me to.

“Baby?” 

She lifts her head immediately, eyes sparkling. 

“Come to bed?” 

She nods eagerly, smiling and sliding her shoes off. I live for that smile. I kiss her hands and walk with her to my bedroom, running my hand through my hair. She stays close to me, and I wrap my arm around her hips to keep her against my body as I dig through my drawers for something for her to sleep in. I can’t stand the idea of not touching her. 

“I can sleep in this,” she says quietly, looking down at her clothes. “I’m comfy.” 

I hold up a t-shirt and a large pair of sweatpants, a mirror of my own outfit, smirking at her. “You sure?” 

She takes them immediately, pecking me on the mouth and walking around me to go to the bathroom to change. I watch her go, beaming and shutting the drawer. Climbing into bed, I fix the blankets and give her the better pillow, fluffing it up. She comes back into the room, tying a side knot into my shirt so it fits more comfortably and doesn’t hang low. I pat the bed, giggling when I see how long the pants are on her, reaching well over her feet to the floor. Seeing her in my clothes is one of my new favorite things. 

“What?” 

“My pants on you.” 

She looks down at them, smiling broadly and crawling into bed. “I love it.” 

“I love you.” It feels amazing to say it out loud, to let the dam break so I could flood her with everything that I had been holding in since we first met. 

“I love you.” She answers so quickly, my heart sputters. 

“Get comfortable.” 

She wiggles around underneath the blankets for a moment, turning her back to me and snuggling her face into the pillow. I grin in total euphoria as she settles in and stops moving, and I wrap my arm around her body to tug her against me, pressing my face into the side of her neck and holding her tightly. She sighs contentedly, and I close my eyes tightly, willing it to go away again. 

It doesn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” she says suddenly. “What did I do?” 

“I just love you so bad, that’s all.” 

“Do you want me to sleep-“ 

“No. I’m sorry, just…” I feel so embarrassed. “Ignore it.” 

She rolls over to face me, placing her hand on my neck and kissing me lightly. I kiss her back and move my waist backwards. Her eyebrows scrunch together in disapproval, and she pulls my body back again. 

“Love-“

“I want to feel how much you want me. I know that’s not fair, it’s really, really not, but… just lay here with me like we were?” 

I’d give her anything she asked for. I’d give her the moon. “Okay, honey.” 

Turning around so her back is to me again, she wiggles backward against my body and pulls my arm around her again. I chuckle quietly and nuzzle my nose into her neck again, inhaling the scent of her skin and kissing her earlobe. She giggles and squeezes my arm. 

“Seriously, though?” She asks. “When I rambled about Poe?” 

“Yeah, it happened pretty fast.” 

“I can’t say I’m not the same.” 

“Oh?” Now I’m dying to know. 

“It took me a bit longer than that but not by much.” She admits. “When you were talking about acting on the bench. I suppose the only reason it took longer is because I spoke first.” 

I’m stunned. “Seriously?” 

“You speak of your craft with such passion, Timothée, it’s so fucking beautiful.” 

I can feel my face flushing, and I press as close as I can to her, appreciating every second that she’s with me. She begins to quietly hum after a time, her hand covering mine and our fingers locking together. She falls asleep before I do, the hums slowly tapering off into little sighs and sounds. I’m fascinated by them, wondering what she’s dreaming of, trying to guess what she sees until I pass out myself, holding her so close that we both ache when we wake up.


	14. first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

Time, such a strange thing, passes with a flourishing grace, each day with her more beautiful and bright than the day before. Before I know it we reach a milestone, and I can’t believe it.

Six months together. It doesn’t feel real, because every time I’m with her it feels like I’m falling over and over again, deeper and deeper into the depths of her. She’s smiling more than ever, walking with new confidence, laughing openly, her happiness clear and bright. To know that I was giving her this was almost too much. 

She wakes me with a kiss to the neck, she had spent the night in a pair of panties and one of my flannels. “Happy six months, Tim.” 

“Mmmm,” I smile and keep my eyes closed, biting my lip. “Happy six months, my girl.” She was always meant to be my girl. 

Settling down against my chest, she drapes her bare leg in between mine, and I clench my jaw. Sometimes I swear she does this stuff on purpose. Do I care? No. 

I want more. 

“How did you sleep?” She wants to know, massaging my side. I yawn and sit up with her, flattening my curls and kissing her cheek before getting out of bed. I’m wearing only a pair of briefs, and when I turn to answer I catch her eyes on my behind. 

“Fine, thank you,” I smile, pleased, not saying anything. She looks deeply embarrassed, but I want her to look, I want her to know that I’m hers. 

“Good,” she says quietly, playing with her fingers as I move to brush my teeth. 

Following suit, the top few buttons of my shirt are undone, and I can see the black lace of her bra peeking out as she passes me. I curse under my breath and force myself to focus on something else, my mind devouring what little I saw and creating images of its own. I promised her that I would wait until she was ready, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t use my imagination. 

She asks me often and continuously if I want to bail, telling me repeatedly that she would understand if I did. But this isn’t just about sex to me. Yes, I’m excited about the idea, but I’m more excited about her. Spending time with her, getting to know her, loving her, showing her what she deserves. I tell her over and over that that is what matters to me, and I will continue to reassure her tirelessly until she believes me. 

When she returns and crawls back into bed, she’s different. There’s a resigned determination on her face, and I love her more than ever, it grows by the second.

“What’s on your mind, baby girl?” 

“You.” 

“Me, huh?” 

“I’m just thinking.” She looks down. 

“About what?” 

Hesitation. Slowly lifting her head, she makes eye contact. “Making love with you.” 

I inhale sharply through my nose, exhaling loudly without meaning to and putting my hand on her cheek. My thumb traces her bottom lip, and I grin when she kisses it. 

“What about it?” 

“I just think about it all the time. Nonstop.” 

“You and me both, sweet love.” 

“Really?” 

Really. Her defining word. 

“Yes, really.” 

“What do you think about it?” 

My face flushes, and I lean closer. “I just think about it, too. What it will be like, what it will feel like…” I think for half a second before jumping. “What you will taste like.” 

She shudders and her face flushes deeply. “I want to be with you in that way, Tim, but…” I hold my breath, unable to do anything else. “It’s just been so long since I’ve been with someone, and…” 

“I understand.” Plus the girl had been fucking cheated on. No wonder she was so scared. 

“You’re too good for me.” She’s still looking down. 

“Hey.” I pull her chin up, waiting until she meets my gaze. “That’s BS and you know it.” 

A small giggle, she shrugs and leans forward to peck me lightly on the mouth. I close my eyes and smile into it, keeping my lips slightly pursed when she pulls back and puts her hand on my chest. 

“I… Tim?” 

My eyes open instantly, because I know by the tone of her voice what she’s going to say. 

“Yes, baby?” I need to hear it. I need to.

“I…” she breathes hard, wringing her hands together. I reassure her by taking them and kissing her fingers. 

“It’s just me, baby doll.” 

“I want you.” 

“You want me?”

“I want to make love with you.” 

I close my eyes and visibly shudder, my teeth chattering together. I want to record her voice so I can listen to her saying that whenever I want for the rest of my God damn life. 

“You know that I’ve wanted to be with you since the beginning, mon amour. So you tell me when.” 

“Now.” 

“What?” I’m so shocked that I must look rather comical. “Now?” 

She leans forward and kisses me lazily on the lips, sliding her hand slowly up my thigh to rest on the bulge in my briefs. I gasp for air, whimpering into her mouth, my body caving in upon itself. She slowly rubs me, and I moan loudly, intensifying the kiss and tangling my fingers into the roots of her hair. 

“Now.” She repeats into my mouth. “Do you have a condom?” 

I’m doing everything in my power not to pass out from pure adrenaline and excitement. “In the top drawer.” 

Sliding from the bed and waving her hips as she moves, she crosses the room to fetch a condom from my bureau, unbuttoning my flannel as she goes. When she turns to come back, she slides it off her shoulders and lets it fall until all that remains is her black lace set of underwear. My mouth agape, all I can do is stare at her, my eyes moving everywhere and trying to soak it all in at once without success. 

She’s otherworldly, so gorgeous that I’m nearly in tears. I’ve wanted this with her for so long, I’ve waited for so long to be this intimate and close to her. She seems to sense my emotions and steps closer, handing me the condom.

“Are you alright, Timmy?” 

“Yes,” I breathe, pressing tender kisses to the top of her breasts and collarbone and shoulders. Her head falls back, and she moans my name, my mental stability is declining by the second. Her hands move slowly into my hair to hold my face against her chest, and I’m totally blissed out, my eyes squeezed shut, open-mouthed gasps for air as I press random kisses to her skin. She reaches behind her back and unhooks her bra, throwing it onto the floor and giving me full access to her chest. I sprinkle wet kisses over her breasts, sliding my hands slowly down her sides, I’m losing all sense of reality as her hands move slowly through my hair. Pulling her on top of me, I roll swiftly over until she’s underneath me, her knee hooked around my back and my mouth capturing hers. She responds fervently, lifting her other leg around me and rutting her hips up into my core. I groan loudly into her mouth, her desperation is such a fucking turn-on. I want this girl more than I’ve ever wanted anything, and if she wanted me back in the same way… 

I’m mad for her, I’m absolutely fucking mad for her.

“Timothée,” she whimpers, crashing into my thoughts. I realize I pulled back to hover above her, staring down at her body. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so… lost in you,” I lift my head and kiss her gently on the lips, pressing closer and wrapping my arm around her waist to lift her up into my body. She holds me close, trusting me explicitly. 

Down her chest and stomach I go, I’ve been dying to taste her this way. She’s decadent, I can ingest every inch of her, my mouth devouring her skin and my tongue gently tapping the sensitive buds of her chest until they harden. She runs her fingers through my hair and holds me closer, her back arching as she gives herself to me. Both hands on her chest now, I kiss down her stomach slowly as they follow along, touching, loving, squeezing as they go. I trace my tongue around her belly button and she hisses softly, twitching and whining. 

My fingers slowly slip into her panties, her folds are slick and ready for me. Licking my finger, she tastes amazing. I tug her panties down and begin to slowly massage her sex, leaning down and kissing her slowly. I want to make her feel so good, I want her to never be the same after this. She gasps into my mouth as I move my fingers faster, creating friction over her clit and drawing loud, desperate moans from her stomach. 

“Fuck, fuck that feels so good, Oh GOD!” 

I’m high on her, biting down on the side of her neck hard and continuing the assault through her sudden and glorious orgasm. Watching her come annihilates and wrecks me, my mind unraveling as I close my eyes and try not to come on her legs. Her hips buck into the air and her eyes flutter shut, I open mine again and stare at her hungrily, knowing her pleasure is mine. Her chest is heaving, and I press gentle kisses to her neck, ear, and shoulder. As it fades, her body goes slack against the bed, sweat shining on her forehead and lust in her eyes. 

“How was that?”

She responds by pulling my face to hers to kiss me, her tongue demanding and our teeth bumping together. I groan into her mouth and rock my erection up and down against her heat, enjoying the sounds she’s making. 

“Amazing,” she says finally, her hands traveling down my back. I shiver and kiss her neck, rocking my hips harder. She lifts her hips to meet my movements, and I almost come in my briefs. Slowing down, I reach for the condom, breathing so hard I’m dizzy, I’ve been waiting for this for my entire life and I didn’t know it. 

I tear it open and slide out of my underwear, smiling when she gasps, my lust pressing against her thigh, skin on skin. I’m so ready for her, sliding the condom into place and preparing myself for what’s about to happen. She reaches for me and I hover above her, lining myself up, my hands shaking profusely and my breathing unsteady. 

Hooking her arms around my neck, she buries her face there, kissing and nipping at it. But she’s tense, I can feel it. 

“Baby, love, relax.” 

She nods briefly and her body deflates slowly down into the bed. Once I feel her totally relaxed, I slowly enter her, my eyes nearly rolling back into my head. She hisses softly and digs her nails into my back, leaving marks as I stretch her out. I moan loudly, my head drooping, she feels so fucking good, better than anything I could ever imagine. 

“Are you alright?” I need to know. 

“Yes, love me, Timothée” 

The words shock my equilibrium into colors, and I begin to slowly move my hips forward until they meet hers and I’m all the way inside of her. I’m gasping for air as I start to slowly rock my body, never pulling all the way out, I can’t stand the idea of not being inside of her. I lean my forehead on hers and continue to move, my open mouth pressed against hers. Her eyelashes flutter and she arches her back, allowing me to go deeper. I nearly choke, and her head falls back, her hair spread across the pillow. 

“I love you,” I sputter, needing her to hear it as much as feel it. 

She smiles, her eyes still closed. “I love you.” 

“I’m not going to last long, I’m so sor-“

“I don’t care.” 

So I go faster, harder, holding onto her like she’s my lifeline, because she is. I buck my hips back and forth, lifting my head a bit to look down at her. She opens her eyes and meets my gaze, her mouth agape and her pupils dilated. I growl without meaning to and slow my movements before speeding up again, wanting it to last forever, needing her more than anything. She stares up at me, her body bouncing against mine as I continue to go faster, faster until my hips are snapping loudly into hers. 

“Fuck, Tim!”

“I’m so close,” I gasp, kissing her. She tugs on my hair and kisses me back, I can feel every curve of her, every molecule. 

“You feel so good,” she breathes, and suddenly I feel her muscles tighten around me.

Cussing loudly, I feel myself twitching as my body prepares itself for release. She continues to raise her hips to mine, flush against one another, and it strikes me like lightning. I grunt loudly and cry out her name, spilling my love into the condom and accidentally biting down on her bottom lip. She’s beaming, glowing, on top of the world and holding my hand. I continue to thrust through it, wishing desperately that we didn’t need a condom, wanting so much to really, truly feel her. 

“Did you-“ She starts.

“Yes,” I groan as it dissipates and I relax against her. 

Silence, then. Intimacy like I’ve never known washes over me, and I know I’ll never love anybody the way I love her. She owns me body and soul, I’m bewitched, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


	15. the question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr same username xx

I always knew it would lead to this. It’s what I wanted from the very beginning, what was the point of dating otherwise? Seven and a half months. The best months of my life, the brightest, happiest memories. I think of it every single day, the image sending tingles to my fingertips and toes, a lovesick grin covering my face as I watch her do her everyday thing. 

When? Is it too soon? How would she react? More importantly… how to do it?

My gaze sweeps through the case of jewelry, my eyes darting from one ring to the next. I kneel down to get a better look, my knees protesting a bit. I stop on one and remain there for a moment, thinking hard. Silver and simple, it’s absolutely gorgeous. As I survey the rest, I ask to see that one, smiling a little when the jeweler gets flustered. We had to make them sign an agreement to keep it quiet, and I look like I’m robbing the store in my black hoodie with the hood hanging over my head and my sunglasses on. God forbid I’m seen. Probably should have had her go out while a jeweler came by. 

It speaks to me in the way that it sparkles, smiling and promising a beautiful future, and I purchase it, hoping she’ll love it. Walking back to my place on shaking legs, I try to imagine what it will look like, how I will do it, how best to surprise her. She’s been staying with me consistently, and I know that if she says yes that she will move in. The idea causes my heart to grow several sizes. 

In the door, a loud noise to my left, I hurry down the hallway to my bedroom and put the ring in my closet, shutting the door quickly before walking back out. Looking down at my phone, I respond to a text and shove it into my back pocket. 

I look up, and it hits me like a fucking train. 

She’s vacuuming my apartment furiously, her hair pulled back from her face and somewhat of a mess, an old t-shirt of mine hanging off of her shoulder and sweatpants clinging to her hips. She looks so intense and focused, and I realize that this is exactly what I want, what I have always wanted. A simple, beautiful life with her, domesticity, letting each other see what others cannot. I turn and stride down the hallway, pulling the velvet box from my closet and walking back out to the living room with it in my pocket. My heart is a bass drum in my chest, shaking my entire body with every beat as I approach her from behind. Swallowing hard, I look to the heavens, a silent moment of prayer before I gently tap her on the shoulder. 

She jumps violently and the vacuum hits the wall, leaving a small mark. I laugh a little and reach forward to turn it off as she shoves my shoulder. 

“Don’t do that!” 

“Baby?” I’m glowing, and she looks a little confused. 

“What are you smiling like that for?” 

I get down on one knee, my lips parted, air moving quickly in and out of my lungs as I gaze up at her. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head, her mouth dropping open in a comical fashion as she sways and grips the back of the couch. 

“T-Timmy, wha-“

“I’m in love with you,” I say quietly, smiling at her with reassurance, reaching up to take her hand. “I have always been in love with you, including before I met you. You are the sun in my sky, the waves in my ocean, the warmth in my home and the entirety of my heart. I want to spend forever loving you and being loved by you, I want to take on life together and then hold hands and walk into whatever is next.” I inhale deeply and close my eyes for a moment before saying her name softly and opening them to continue. I use one finger to open the box before her, enjoying the smile taking up her entire face. “I ask with all my heart, every beat of it… will you marry me?” 

She’s sobbing by the time I’ve finished, and I cry right along with her, barely keeping it together, shaking like a leaf. 

Please.

But then she nods. 

I burst into tears and pull her hand to my lips, kissing all over it, beaming like the sun. My heart feels as though it may explode, so full and complete, and I swear there’s nothing in the world like the sight of the ring slipping slowly onto her finger. It fits perfectly. I was hoping my guessing skills were accurate. 

Meant to be, simple as that. 

She kneels down with me and places her hands on my cheeks to kiss me hard and passionately, her tongue immediately begging for entrance. I open my mouth and kiss her back deeply, weaving my fingers into her hair and losing myself in the sensation of the cold band against my skin. She’s smiling profusely, and I swear I feel my heart growing even more, threatening to break free and simply jump into her body to be next to her heart where it belongs.

“I love you, Timothee Hal Chalamet,” she breathes, pressing breathless kisses all over my face and neck. 

“I love you, baby girl,” I say in a raspy voice, closing my eyes and allowing her to do what she pleases. 

“When… how… what?” She says suddenly, lifting her head to smile at me. “I’m so fucking surprised, you did a great job!” 

I giggle a little and squeeze her gently. “Do I get a gold star?” 

“You do get a gold star.” She’s glowing. I want to melt in her sunlight. 

I gently rub our noses together before kissing her again, holding onto her chin, she tastes divine as usual. I can barely take it all in, the idea of being with her for eternity. 

She said yes. She said yes. SHE SAID YES! 

“I want to scream it to the world.”

“Me too,” she agrees, beaming and admiring the ring. “When did you get it?” 

“Today.” 

“What? Really?” 

“I was not planning on doing this today.” 

She smiles shyly and looks down at her clothing, self consciously messing with her hair. “Oh?” 

I take her hand and move around the couch to sit with her, leaning back as she straddles my lap and kisses me again. I kiss her back, responding against her lips. “I just… I walked in and saw you like this, and I couldn’t stop myself. You have my entire heart, and this is what I want with you. Everyday life, not just the glamorous shit I live with.” 

She’s smiling profusely against my lips, kissing me harder, gripping the curls on the back of my neck. I moan softly and kiss her back, tongue and teeth, a growing lust between my legs, a desire to celebrate. 

“I’m so happy, Timothee.” 

There it goes again. My heart swells, and I feel myself beginning to cry again. Her happiness is everything to me, and to hear her say that is balm to my soul. Her lips move slowly along my neck, and I tilt my head back to give her better access, closing my eyes. It’s all spinning around in my head in the silence and the pleasure of her lips on my skin, imagining her in her dress, kissing as husband and wife for the first time, our first dance… 

“Baby?” She asks. 

“Yes, my heart?” 

“Where are you?” 

“Sorry, I’m just daydreaming about you walking toward me in a wedding dress.”  
Her face flushes deeply, and she lifts her head to kiss me again, pushing my head back into the couch cushion with force. I moan softly and kiss her back eagerly, my hands moving slowly up and down her back. 

“I can’t wait,” she whispers, sending chills down my spine. “I’ve always been yours, Tim. It’s always been you.” 

She draws an even bigger smile from my face, something I didn’t know was possible, and the need to be intimate with her grows by the second, an ache deep within me that only this girl can fill. I shift my waist beneath her and groan softly, biting down on her bottom lip carefully. Taking the hint, she gently slips her hands up my chest under my shirt to pull it over my head. Swallowing hard, I watch as she takes me in, her hands traveling from my shoulders down my chest to my stomach, resting on my belt. Her touch is like wildfire, and my skin tingles pleasantly. 

“What are you thinking?” I need to know. 

“I’m just thinking about how breathtaking you are,” she says simply, running her fingers through my curls, creating more flames atop my head. 

“Make love with me, sweet girl,” I beg, pulling her back to my lips hungrily and rocking my hips back and forth against her core. 

She nods and wraps her arms securely around my neck, legs around my back as I lift her into the air and carry her to my, soon to be our, bedroom. Sprinkling kisses all over my cheek and neck as I move, she makes it almost impossible to walk properly. I set her down on the bed and crawl over her, kissing her again, rocking my body up and down against hers. She whimpers softly, a sweet and melodious sound, and I sit up a little bit to slip her shirt over her head, setting it aside. She’s wearing a black bra that I got her, and my insides quake, kissing all over her chest before sweeping it away. Down her tummy, toying with the sensitive peaks of her breasts, I lose myself in her entirely, totally blissed out as I take the rest of her clothing off, devouring her body with my eyes. Nothing in this world compares to her beauty. 

“Timmy?” 

“Yes, my love?” 

“I love you.” 

I smile against her skin and look up at her from under hooded eyes, gently nipping at the inside of her thigh. She releases a tiny squeak, much to my delight. “I love you, too.” 

She pushes me up to kneel and sits up, kissing my bare stomach as she undoes my belt. I run my fingers slowly through her hair, my breathing beginning to accelerate as I watch her free my lust. It stands straight against my navel, and she gently massages up my length, her eyes on my face. My eyes flutter shut, my mouth agape, and I moan her name softly. I kiss her lightly on the lips before moving from the bed to grab a condom, ripping it open and sliding it into place as I get back into bed. 

“Are you ready for me, sweet girl?” 

She lays back and nods, putting a pillow under her hips and opening her legs wide. My eyes find her sex, and I’m suddenly so desperate for her that it hurts. Pulling her down the bed a bit and ensuring she’s comfortable, I gently push inside of her, a sharp exhale as our hips move closer and closer until they’re flush together. She releases a sinful noise that almost makes me come on the spot, saying my name over and over and urging me forward. I begin to make love to her slowly, lowering myself over her to be closer. She wraps her limbs around me like a koala and lifts her waist to meet my movements. It’s sweet and slow, more than just sex, full of so much meaning and love. I pick up the pace after a bit and kiss her as I do, our open mouths hovering together as our bodies slap together softly. 

“Baby, fuck,” she cries. “I’m so close, don’t stop, I love you so much…” 

That’s all it takes for me. I grunt loudly and come abundantly inside of her, thrusting relentlessly through it though my vision goes white and pleasure streaks through my body. Her name drips from my lips over and over again through it, and then she finds her release, shrieking my name into the air. My movements are sloppy and erratic, the both of us whining and wiggling until our orgasms fade away. 

“I love you, too,” I whisper, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “My bride.”


End file.
